Apple Jacks - Pirate Snack Review

in #life6 years ago

Ahoy, me harties!

Reverend Rum, literal pirate and snack enthusiast, here with another snack review from the one and only pirate critic himself: me.

Today I’ll be taking a look at a special gem in the breakfast cereal world called "Apple Jacks" (also known to pirates as "Appley Jacks").

Apell Jaex.jpg

When ol’ Reverend Rum wakes up in the wee hours of the morning before first light, the first thing he does is greet his dearest friend Hercu...gets a heaping bowl of cereal from the mess. Pirates love their cereal. Why? Glad you asked, ye inquisitive scoundrel!

Y'see, cereal doesn’t need to be refrigerated, which is good because refrigeration isn’t something ye find on a real pirate ship like The Maiden’s Desire. And it’s part of a well balanced breakfast! (Did ye know a well balanced breakfast includes juice? Eating a well balanced breakfast each and every morning helps This Pirate fight off the scurvy.)

Bowl of Glory.jpg

Good initiative on the question; y’er well on your way up the pirate ranks!

Did ye know pirates use rum instead of milk in their cereal? I bet you a gold doubloon ye didn’t! That’s alright, though, it’s a well kept secret amongst us buccaneers. Don’t tell them I told ye!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Apple Jacks. Why do I prefer Appley Jacks? Easy! They don’t taste like apple. As a swashbuckling pirate, trickery like this really hits me in the ethos. I like the cut of this cereal’s chops!

Besides, just look at these other cereals:

  1. Captain Crunch: I’m no fan of the navy, why would I eat cereal whose mascot looks like me arch nemesis: Capt. Enrico Hernandez? That old bastard is still chasing me to this day! He’ll never catch me. Good luck Old Man!
    What a dick.PNG
  2. Lucky Charms: As a pirate, I was immediately drawn in by the pots of gold in each box, but they was marshmallows and I’ll never forgive them for bamboozling me. Plus I've had some bad run-ins with leprechauns in me past, not keen on reliving that trauma.
  3. Cheerios: Flavorless Apple Jacks, blegh!

There’s more, but none are pirate themed, so I’ll have none of that!

Box of Nutrients.jpg

And avast! 25% of me daily recommended dose of vitamin C? Well shiver my timbers!

Dinosaurs ahoy.jpg

Oh look, I can even win movie tickets to see Jurassic Park? I’ve tangled with dinosaurs before, and let me tell ya, I’m not impressed. I’ve heard good things about that movie, I’m entering this contest!

Anyway, that’s why Apple Jacks is the best cereal. It tastes delicious, has vitamin C, there's no leprechauns, and you can win Jurassic Park tickets.

Thanks for reading, mateys! I’m off to pour me a fresh bowl of Appley Jacks right now!

Bowl of Champions.jpg

Sources:
http://gph.is/2d53M9I (That run-in I had with the leprechaun has me like "What do?")

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Ah finally! I found a pirate on steemit. Eh, I started to think there is none. Guess I have to follow you now. Ay Captain, my captain!

Ahoy! I see with me one good eye that you've taken interest in the pirate life. Yo ho yo ho and all that! I docked The Maiden's Desire in port to gather supplies, and I find me crew short (we got in a bit of a scrap with some sirens a fortnight back). 'tis be your lucky day. Will ye join me crew and sail with us on the high seas to adventure and booty?

Aye Captain! There is no way I can say no to adventures and booze, eh.. booty.

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This is funny. I can't imagine having a sugar cereal with rum. I mean extracted cereal is a bit much. I don't know maybe a White Russian with some cinnamon toast crunch could work for me!

I like White Russians as it makes me feel very "Lebowski" lol

You'll never cut it as a pirate unless you start eating your sugar cereal with rum. Them's the chops, matey.

Haha love the review! You forgot to add it comes with a dose of diabeaties and a dentist trip in the near future!

Pretty sure the scurvy will get me before the diabetes!

haha no doubt about it.

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I'm trying to upvote this but for some reason Steemit wont let me? Oh well its a small vote from me anyways.

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