Personal Blog 2

p1eter (59)in #life • 5 years ago

Day two… I actually got a full nights rest, but then I had to wake up to load shedding. If you don’t know what that is be thankful. It is a glorious thing we have in South Africa where our power gets shut off periodically due to our countries energy company being incompetent.

I really don’t mind being without power, however seeing as I mostly work online this is quite inconvenient. So we are at day two and things are looking up but not really. Having gotten a full nights of rest I do feel somewhat better but, I awoke to a conversation with my ex and there is now the possibility that she will make a plan to buy me a new ticket to a destination that is not where she lives. I don’t entirely hate this plan as I still get what I wanted but some part of me just really wanted to see that smile again. You know that kind of smile that doesn’t only light up a room but your soul. The kind that could make you feel at peace and safe whilst the entire world is burning down.

Naturally this conversation riled me up a bit and then I just remembered my articles, so let’s exercise!!! I decided not to go with a routine just yet, but just kind of do something every-time I get restless. I started with some pull ups, then some boxing, some push ups and finally ended with some weights. I am still a bit restless so I guess there will be more exercises in the next few minutes or hours but I felt like just clearing my head a bit on here. I know the best thing for me is to let go now and hope that she pulls through so that I don’t have to go but, when you love someone as much as I do her the thought of never seeing them again, even if it is under bad terms just scares the living shit out of me. This is the girl that brings out the best in me, makes me the person I want to be and actually makes me believe life is worth the effort. So what will be left of me once she is really lost and gone… I just hope some of the qualities she brought out in me stays with me as I really don’t want to be the person I was again before she entered my life. I don’t like that guy and neither do others.

What I would give to just she that face in real life once more and feel happy and at peace whole heartedly….

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