Factoring Fear: What Scares Us and Why
How many times have people told me I'm terrified of suffering before death, not death? Fear of suffering is normal, but it has taken up too much space and created a society that tries to deny or eliminate misery.
When we fall as children, an adult promises us it will be okay and the injury will heal with a kiss or gel. We do not inform the youngster that getting harmed is part of life or encourage him to accept it.
Teaching a youngster anything is easy if he feels our acceptance, in this case of suffering. Consider a youngster who falls and cries often. Fear rather than danger sometimes drives it. Let's hold him and ask him questions, giving him time to respond without comment:
Where hurts you? Moves the sensation? Were you scared falling? Fear where in your body? It huge or small? Close your eyes and see evil and terror. Imagine a glorious sun shining on wickedness and terror. Let the sun heat them. Open your eyes and breathe deeply.
The child's understanding of the adult's pain is crucial. I've found that adult-taught acceptance works well. If he has learnt to fear, this child will find it harder to accept and develop from pain.
Because our society is heavily affected by the medical system, which fights misery, illness, and death, accepting suffering is difficult. Remember that all systems reflect social beliefs. Our systems will alter as more people accept and see different elements of suffering.
Thus, misery and sadness are natural and human, but fear and denial amplify them. The opposite of fear and rejection is acceptance. Accepting it: how? Genuinely observing. Observing is paying attention to your three bodies without judgement or blame.
As with a fallen infant, observe the body. Next, emotional body observation checks your mood. Above all, it allows you to feel fear, concern, rage, guilt, etc. It will be easier to express your feelings, such as I feel helpless or concerned.
Observing the mental body implies checking your thoughts. What do your thoughts and scary voices say? Most importantly, don't silence them. Write down everything that happened and accept that you are human with strengths and weaknesses.
Observing closely and embracing suffering implies you are centred and in your light. The latter will reveal what you need to learn. What's good about this?
A heart attack survivor thanked his body. Six months of inactivity allowed him to change his lifestyle. He chose joy over taking life too seriously and fretting about things for nothing.
If we perceive suffering as a result of…, we will persist in fighting the cause. There will be no beneficial improvements in our lives, and the sorrow may linger. We swiftly lessen pain by opening ourselves to the new, unknown, and good change if we feel suffering may teach us about ourselves.