The Time This Man Shot @undergroundman in the Face: A Story About Survival

_{Guns are a tool designed for hunting, wars, carjackings, bank robberies, and a few other things.} Kids, never play with guns. They are not toys.

Someone Might Get Hurt

 
Many moons ago, in the land of sloughs and gophers, This Man was a young lad.

Life wasn't easy way back when. The early 90's were tough times. Pixels were large, Mario looked like he was made out of Lego. TV's were small, so you had to sit close and risk getting radiation poisoning, or worse. Game controllers were square and dug into your palms rendering the hands useless for hours after fun time.

The great outdoors was the place where kids actually went to play. The fresh air was still fresh, the skies were blue, and This Man as a young lad spent more time there than anywhere else.

This Man as a young lad was also fortunate enough to grow up on a farm in the middle of nowhere known as Saskatchewan. The big rectangle, middle of Canada, can't miss it. Plenty of freedom.

This Man had forts in the bush built with lumber and real nails. Back then, kids knew how to use a hammer. They didn't sit around tapping their touchscreens all day. If you hammered your thumb or broke a finger, you went inside, put a sticky bandage on, then went back outside to finish the job. No such thing as a sick day.

Dirtbikes, quads, mountain bikes, paddle boats, a frickin' trout pond, guns, you name it. This Man as a young lad was living the good life.

_{Somewhat recent photograph of This Man's old stomping grounds, during a flood.}^{That's the trout pond on the right side.Pretty sure the fish swam away from home.}

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City Slicker Friends and Relatives Would Come to Visit

These were always exciting times for This Man as a young lad. Having people over to share these great adventures and youthful days with was always a nice treat.

Enter @undergroundman.
This Man has known Underground Man since the days of sucking on bottles and pooping pants. Born two weeks apart, we've always been more like brothers than anything else. As years passed, we ended up living far away from each other, so we'd always try to cram in as much fun as we could with the limited time we had together.

One Day

We decided it would be a great idea to take the paddle boat(a combination of a bicycle and a boat) out into a slough and hunt muskrat. There were thousands of these critters that year. Damn things were taking over and giving the ducks a hard time.

Before you work yourself into a frenzy, don't worry, if we did end up successful on our hunt, we planned on feeding it to the cats, or the dog, whoever wanted it. Boys will be boys.

We'd paddle around aimlessly until one popped it's head out of the water, take aim, fire, miss! Try again, miss! It went on like this for hours. This Man's legs were getting tired from all the paddling, time to go back to shore.

Underground Man still wanted to cruise around the slough for a few more minutes, so he dropped This Man off and headed back out into the great unknown.

Not even two minutes passed, This Man noticed a head pop out of the water near the boat. Fire! Miss.

Why is Underground Man Suddenly Yelling at This Man?

This Man did not aim at Underground Man. This Man aimed a little to the left. This Man assumed Underground Man must have been stung by a wasp.

Underground Man took a beeline to shore towards This Man while repeatedly saying, "You shot me in the face! You shot me in the face! You BLEEPING BLEEPER, you shot me in the face!"

This Man could not figure out how any of this was possible. Underground Man was now on shore, This Man was standing there, confused. It was unknown to This Man at the time, but that was not Underground Man on his way to greet This Man, it was A Man Ready to Kick Some Ass.

This Man did not believe Underground Man's claims of This Man shooting him in the face until Underground Man pointed at the wound. Sure as hell, right there between the eyes, a small divot. Got him.

Good thing it was only a BB gun.

"A Story About Survival?"

Yes. It's true. That was not a misleading headline.

We were both a little shaken that day, but not stirred. Much like James Bond, our bond will never die.

Though This Man shot the brother from another mother right between the eyes, that still wasn't enough to break us apart. To this day, though we see each other on the internet more often than life, still close. Nothing changed.

Our Stories Don't Match Though

^{We just had to agree to disagree.}

Underground Man's Version: You aimed at me and shot me in the face!
This Man's Version: The bb must have hit the water and bounced(it happens!).

_{Thanks for letting This Man do this, brother!}Have a good day.

Credits: _{All images seen here were produced digitally, by me. "All SBD earned on this post will go to @undergroundman to help him get started here." [email protected]}

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