RE: Relationships are a power battle
Completely agree that the wrong thing to do would be to not express yourself/your feelings. Communication is a two-way street. You are only in control of yourself and it is your responsibility to express your feelings and in a way that you think will most effectively come across to your partner. It is your partner's responsibility to listen to your feelings and try to understand them. You can't force them to "hear you". That's on them. All you can do is speak your truth and it's on then to listen and understand without getting defensive/curled up. Old habits are hard to break so to be able to build successful communication between each other it's going to take a lot of hard, continuous work and both partners have to be doing their part, but it is possible!
This comment somehow cheered me up a bit. Feels like you have been trough something similar and can relate what I have experienced. It's comforting in a way. Thanks for your comment! :)
Glad it helped - I've been in enough relationships to learn that I've never been particularly good at "hearing" my partner. I'm the one who always gets defensive and not acknowledging my partner's feelings. I've had to learn that when my partner says "I feel..." a certain way, it's not up to me to tell them that their feelings are wrong, if that's truly how they feel then that's how they feel.
I appreciate your ability to understand others. It's so easy to go defensive and rejective, since in a relationship it's natural to feel yourself responsible for your partners feelings. Of course both are responsible for their actions, which bring up emotions and that way makes one "responsible" for them, whether you like it or not. But just like you said, it's just how they feel and that's it -they don't choose it and then you have got to figure out what to do, which requires communication..