ALL MY DISAPPOINTMENTS SEEM LIKE AN ACHIEVEMENT
Have you ever experienced a day so bad that you thought to leave everything aside and just isolate yourself from all the work and stress?
Have you ever had a day when you unintentionally barge yourself into a situation that you can’t handle?
A day when you try to do everything good but universe flips it over?
Things like these happen to almost every individual who is struggling in his/her period to achieve something in life but always falls into an awful situation they never dreamed off.
I also never thought that today will be a real bummer. As an application engineer, I am always busy in meetings and conferences solving issues of clients. I had a meeting early morning, but I got up late as I forgot to set my alarm and so I skipped my breakfast. I reached my parking spot and found out that my car was punctured.
I took an Uber to my office but was welcomed by heavy traffic on the way. By the time I reached my office, the meeting was over. My attempt to camouflage into a group of other workers failed as manager caught me and admonished my poor skills of punctuality. Till lunch time I was sorting and completing my workload according to priorities to flatter my Boss. But the universe had made its plan to disparage my worth at company. In light of impressing someone; I accidentally ruined my other projects. I lost my frame of mind and took the day off. Disappointed by my acts I thought of going back home and take some rest.
I reached home and realized that I forgot to pick up my keys from my desk. I called my wife for help but she was busy in her meeting. I went down to buy some groceries and then went to the park. Sat on a bench and took a deep breath, closed my eyes and visualized the circumstances I went through today. I had a bad day full of disappointments. I called my wife again and snapped at her for not picking up my call. Told her to come back asap so that I can rest at home.
After having some rest I met my wife at the dinner table. We didn't speak a word either crossed our looks. We sat on the sofa after dinner and saw some movie for a while but there was silence in the room. She never responded on the phone neither she came up with that topic on the dinner table, and she also didn’t speak during the movie. I felt sad for treating her that way but I was silent too due to my ego. We slept facing opposite sides and for a moment I just thought how would be my life without her. I turned back and found her sleeping peacefully. I wanted to praise her for her efforts she puts in, for all the years she loved me unconditionally, for motivating me and for bearing me each and every day. I wish I could kiss her on cheeks and wrap her I in my arms tight so that she smiles and feel safe and I feel I have my whole world with me. But all I can do was gaze her silently and curse my ego. After such a rough day, at night when I look at her sleeping peacefully beside me, All my disappointment seems like an achievement.
I wish I was able to express all these feelings when she was here. She left me a long time ago but I still miss her. I hope she misses me too, I wish I had ignored my ego that day; hold her hand and told her what she means to me but an accident took her away. Thrashed by a truck while crossing the road, she couldn’t reach the opposite side, she went far away into the dark, where she shines like a star. She left behind all those memories that we shared together in our home. All those years when I was silent because of my ego and she didn’t murmur out of respect. My ego played the role of a convict and I mourned her death.
Someone truly said that “ Leave the Ego otherwise everyone would leave you"