Thursdays With Uncle Boom #39

in life •  17 days ago

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My maid Liselle banged rather uncouthly on the door of my study.

Damn that girl

I reluctantly pulled my penis out of the Victoria Sponge cake on my desk.

Come in!

I yodelled after a quick tucking away of my pale badger.

Liselle entered. She seemed rather flustered. Which wasn't unusual in itself, she was quite the rubbish maid. Not for the first time I thought sending her down the saltpetre mines.

Well? What merits disturbing me so early in the day, it's not even one o'clock?

Liselle attempted a curtsy. It made her look like a sick baby deer on ice.

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Your friend, the one with the chin. He is at the door. He says he must see you at once, milord?

Send him in then. Oh, and bring some more brandy would you? We seem to be out.

She scurried out. I picked up my pipe from the heavy jade ashtray it sat in and lit it. I had a new blend of baccy, Old Tiger it was called. An exotic blend of tobaccos and dried tiger skin. It was quite an exhilarating smoke, if a little whiffy.

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The door opened. In walked my old friend Georgie, a fine fellow despite having a face like a chewed up vagina.

He looked older, his face drawn and grey. I stood and stuck out my hand. He gave it a brief shake.

Detective Superintendent, what may I do for you?

I motioned amiably for him to take a seat opposite. Liselle came in with the brandy, I gave her a nod.

Georgie sighed and took his hat off.

Hello Boomy.

I poured myself a brandy. I waved the bottle at Georgie, he shook his head.

Perhaps some tea then?

Yes, tea would be fine.

Liselle? Tea for the guest.

In no time at all Liselle wafted in with tea for Georgie. I cut him a generous slice of the Victoria Sponge cake.

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So Georgie. What can I do for you? You seem awfully down in the dumps.

He took his hat off and squeezed it as if it were a bull's penis covered in blood.

I have been a little quiet of late...

He lifted the slice of Victoria Sponge to his lips and took a bite.

Lovely cake old fellow, isn't it? I had a go at it myself earlier.

Georgie frowned a little whilst he chewed.

Yes... Interesting flavour. Is that Tonka bean?

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I grinned hugely.

Something like that old fellow... You were saying?

Georgie took another bite before replying.

Yes, I have been rather quiet of late. Ever since, you know, that night. The night we had the party to celebrate my promotion to Detective Superintendent...

Oh yes, what a splendid night that was, I must admit, even I was a tad tiddly!

I puffed out a big cloud of Old Tiger and leaned back in my chair. I examined Georgie intently. He seemed reluctant to speak. He had another bite of cake. He made a face this time and placed it back down.

Too much Tonka bean in that bit I think, almost wet with it.

He took a deep breath.

You showed me that knife of yours at the end, remember? What was it you called it... Mathilda?

I placed my pipe down on my ashtray.

Oh yes, Mathilda... Of course I remember, Georgie old fellow.

I opened one of the drawers in my desk and waved airily inside it.

In fact there she is if you want to see her again?

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Georgie looked in the drawer and picked out the small and slender blade I called Mathilda. He held it up and looked from it and then to me. His face twitched as if someone were jerking his plums.

I can't help think that you showed me this knife deliberately?

His voice was quiet with a pleading quality to it. He held my gaze as he slowly turned the knife in his hand.

I returned his stare. A fey silence had descended upon the room. It seemed at that moment like the world consisted of only Georgie and I.

He waved the wicked blade back and forth slowly.

It troubled me. Troubled me greatly. I began to think. Why would Boomy show me his little knife like that? Why then? It was almost... Well, almost like a threat?

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Georgie sat up straighter now.

And I thought, why would Boomy want to threaten me? We have been friends for years. Then it came to me...

I yawned and reached behind me.

Georgie froze.

What are you doing with that hand?

I laughed.

Dear Georgie. I am scratching my arse. Please continue with your fascinating ruminations?

I removed my hand from my derriere.

Georgie looked unconvinced but continued.

All those murders for the last year I had been investigating... I have to ask...

I raised myself to my feet with a weary sigh.

Georgie old fellow... Don't ask. Please... Don't ask.

Georgie stood too, still holding little Mathilda before him. We were close enough to dance.

I have to ask Boomy. I have to?

I shook my head sadly.

Please don't.

Are you the murderer Boomy? Has it been you all this time? Right under my nose?

Oh Georgie.

I stepped in close and grabbed him in a fierce hug. I grunted as I held him close. A fine friend. A gentleman and a brother.

I stepped back unsteadily.

Liselle! Morris! Help!

I shouted weakly.

Georgie stared at the blood sheeting down my front in horror then at the wet and bloody knife in his hand.

Boomy? What have you done?

Liselle screamed from the doorway. I staggered back against my desk, struggling to stay on my feet. my other hand clutched at my middle trying to stem the flow of blood from the vicious wound in my stomach.

I saw my man, Morris, crash in through the door. He howled and leapt for Georgie and the knife.

My legs gave way and I slumped to the floor. I felt oddly at peace.

Georgie crashed to the floor beside me.

Boomy... What have you done?

He gasped.

My vision started to dim.

Oh Georgie...

I whispered faintly over the rushing noise in my ears...

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Strange things happening on this Steemit actually. As I was busy to read, in the first place, I saw your post and I upvoted 100% and I didnt check, how much it changed in the amount. Than in the next moment, after some time, when I could reas the blog, as I was to tired I said to myself, did I upvote Boom ? I went there, see green button but as something made me check the list of all that upvoted you, I didnt find myself. I didn't get it, how is that possible. So, I took the vote and I voted again with 100% and this time was OK....🤔🤔🤔

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The very same thing has happened to me before. Sometimes I have voted then later looked and it has not been there. I have even seen the same thing with comments!

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there may be ghosts around steemit that take our votes away and play with us?

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There are

They haunt us still

Despite our own deaths and incomprehension at our state of passing

I say chaps, what better way to end, than by the hand of a good trusted odd fellow, nay, even more, a dear friend.

May it though be Boomy's pretend?

"Rien ne va plus", next thursday, the rest of the story will be send.

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What a splendid rhyme
It seems that most of the time
You are bang On the nine
Now I must away to drink wine!!

Lol

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@meesterboom oh my days.I will never look at a victoria sponge again in the same way.I read the bit Georgie ate it and it physically made me squirm.lmao.

What a cliff hanger.Has it been Mr Boom all this time? Did he purposley plunge the knife in himself to frame Georgie? Was it a sheer freak accident? Cant wait for next Thursday.I have not been on steemit much past few days as I have been recovering from a cold.Feeling better today, so had to get my Mr Boom Fix.lol

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I hope you are feeling much better?

Hehe, Victoria sponges will never be the same for me either!!

:0)

Nooooooooo! Oh, please don't tell me that's the end of Uncle Boom! I couldn't take it if it were ........... as a side note, I believe I won't be partaking of Victoria Sponge Cake anymore either.

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Victoria sponges might have lost their appeal a wee bit yes!!

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I never thought I'd ever say this (let alone think it) ... but I would consider reconsidering if you don't kill off Uncle Boom .... maybe. LOL!

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Would you like a Tonka bean one or just plain? :0D

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Hahahaha! LMAO! braak

Wow that was a bit of a surprise I must say old bean!

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Indeed! Boom as they say!! :OD

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So is this the end of Uncle Boom?

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That's a very good question. He has had a good run!

I'm sure, it is not the end of Uncle Boom, just it needs to be exciting, like Dynasty or other series, when the episode always finishes in the most interesting moment...and You hardly wait the next one to come...🤔🤔🤔

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I remember Dynasty!! I used to watch it with my mum, ah, fine times!

How wonderful that modern surgery has learned to resew Boom back together, and modern medicine can restore him to his former glory, with a nice scar that the Ladies and maids will want to run their delicate fingers along.
Poor old Georgie, by the time Morris had tied that reef knot in his arms behind his back, ant the sheepshank in his legs, no doctor in the world would ever be able to restore him and he died, leaving the world wondering why a new detective super would suddenly and without reason, attack one of his old friends, then the thoughts would be...... He must have done the other murders as well.
It is just as well Morris ripped his tongue out while trying to stop further damage to his beloved master.

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Lol, wouldnt that be quite the thing ;O)

There is something strange about this episode; a gentleman as skillful as Uncle Boom, to let himself be beaten so easily? It will not be that Uncle Boom is in a delirium tremens phase and nothing is real? or is there some theater on the part of Uncle Boom to try to blame Georgie for murder and divert attention? ... I really do not want this to be the end of Uncle Boom; since, it is a refined assassin that still has much to give to the world ... I am waiting for the next chapter ... Greetings @meesterboom

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Greetings! I am quite sure that all will be revea led in the the next chapter!

I reluctantly pulled my penis out of the Victoria Sponge cake on my desk.

NONONONONONONONO

I am sorry, I'm gonna get going. It's too thursday for this and I so need a drink and not sleeping for like a week because i am so going to have this dream about...

Yeah, i need a drink.

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You can't go far wrong with a drink!! Just dont have any Victoria Spnge cake with it ;O)

I swear, I never will touch another Victoria Sponge cake! Ewww! Let me see...Boomy will survive, Georgie will hang from a noose or perhaps off himself and Uncle Boom will carry on as if it was a total tragedy.

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Yes, that's exactly what I was going to say!

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The sponge cake? ;O)

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Well, that too. But I meant the rest. I know Uncle Boom's devious mind, and I don't think he would off himself, if he could throw someone else under the train...

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Hehe, great minds!! ;0)

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Ssshh!! :op

Mathilda is very nice name :)

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It is isn't it!! :0)

This can not be the end of Uncle Boom, I'm convinced that the next episode clarifies that it was a bad dream.
Notwithstanding an excellent lecyura dear friend @meesterboom
I wish you a beautiful night

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Here is hoping that dreams come true! :0)

A Victoria Spong cake? Wow... Is that better than a warm apple pie? LOL.

Lovely cake old fellow, isn't it? I had a go at it myself earlier.

I think I pissed myself a little at this point. Real creamy Tonka Bean? Bahahahaha

I can't wait to find out the plan hear, an elaborate set up or an attempted hush up gone wrong?

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Hehe, we will just have to wait and see!!

Creamy creamy Tonka bean. Mmm mmm, lol!!

I was entertained when Georgie ate the Victoria Sponge Cake that Boomy put his penis on. I believed you would have pretended to die because you want your helpers to kill him. The reason was Georgie knew you were behind the murders and he cannot be allowed to live. Upvoted!

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Hahaha, that is some very good reasoning!

Omg Boomey! Is this really the end? :O

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Possibly!!

Well fiddlesticks. I do hope Uncle Boom recovers from his wounds.

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We can but hope!! :OD

a sick baby deer on ice? I know how is a man on ice and a child on glue.
The roads to learn are endless.

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The roads never end and the night never breaks

A Hannibal-esque twist, if I do say so myself! It was the only way to relieve yourself of the troublesome quim. I knew for a while now that it was coming to a head, I just didn't know how it would be executed. Masterful work, old bean! The deities of old couldn't have scripted it better!

At least Georgie had a chance to sample some fine Victorian Sponge Cake before he bit it. Tonka bean? More like tonka nuts, amirite?

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Tonka Tonka Tonka! Oh yes, he had done fine Tonka nut delight! :0)

I wonder if he had yet gone!

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Gasp! Could it be?? Could I have been misdirected about Georgie's fate twice already!? My detectivity must be way off!

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Detectivity is a curious thing!!!! :0D

Please don't get me wrong, how old are you. I've never come across any writing like yours on steemit though am new to the system but this is deeper than anyone could imagine. Filled with such wisdom and much confidence. Interesting

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I am younger than you could imagine yet older than my years.

The rivers that old time has run

Still haunts me with her fears

That help any? :0)

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The rivers that old time has run
Still haunts me with her fears
That help any.?

The best thing that can happen to a man is to face his greatest fear.

The river does not flow through the forest without bringing down a tree.

You flow just perfectly.

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Lol, splendid!

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Thanks learning from you.

You always post differently than everyone else.so I like reading your articles.

I reluctantly pulled my penis out of the Victoria Sponge cake on my desk.

Wow... I can't imagine that was what Georgie chunked down.

I knew something wasn't right. I just knew it. Though am still wondering how this ends. But maybe boomy is acting suspicious.

And now, it seems Georgie might be accused for being the serial killer.

Master of conspiracies, I knew boomy was up to something.

May the beautiful Thursday of my uncle

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Indeed he may

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