The 8th Floor #2

in #life6 years ago (edited)

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OW!!!

I raised my head gingerly up from the floor and looked back to see what had caused me to fall. Behind me Sad-Arse sniggered impolitely.

Oh yeah, mind the step. They all fall down it first time.

I made a kitten eating arse-ketchup face and flung it sideways at him.

Looking around I could see the place was a tip. The floor was six inches lower than it was outside and was a bare metal affair. There were guys with hard hats and yellow vests everywhere laying down thick cables and shouting mate at each other.

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A sign warning of the step would have been nice. As I got my hands underneath me I saw a pair of killer black heels click-clack toward me then stop just a few inches before my nose.

I fought down the obligatory half truncheon and looked up slowly at the owner. It was the scarlet-lipped Carlate. She smirked and offered me a hand up. For a moment, I thought I heard something dark and shaggy growling softly at me.

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I dismissed her hand. When a man like me takes a lady like her's hand, it's not to get up. At least, not from the floor.

Well well well. Look who we have here?

I said as I adjusted my hat back to its usual rakish angle.

Carlate looked around her with a puzzled expression like a racoon trying to find its penis in a cupboard.

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It's me, Carlate, obviously. I see you have been re-acquainted with Darcy?

What? Who? Oh, you mean Sad-Arse? Yes, I have.

Sad-Arse made a noise like a cat in a sack discovering it's only other companion was a brick. He huffed past me to a nearby desk and sat down.

Carlate gestured for me to follow, turned and started clippity-clopping away. I followed her. My eyes drinking in all the detail around me. There seemed to be an awful lot of cables being wired in. Big thick things like metallic alien limbs pinned up in eye-twisting designs.

I had kinda hoped for some windows this time?

Oh yeah, not here. Not at the centre.

I frowned. She seemed to be talking in riddles. Villains always did. Like when I tracked down the mad Canadian, Red Marty in a previous case involving giant chickens and the Hoover Dam.

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Carlate halted at a desk.

This one is yours. I suppose you are wondering where we got the idea for the lemniscate...

Gesundheit.

What?

She looked annoyed by my interruption. She waved an arm breezily toward a far wall and began again.

So the lemniscate...

Bless you.

This time she looked as if she had caught me farting in her cup.

Shush. As I was saying. We came up with the idea of using the lemniscate sign for our project because you know?...

Because you know? Well no. I didn't know. What the fuck was a lemniscate? Was she blowing sherbet up my arse? Would that be a bad thing?

Because??...

You know, the infinity symbol? Like we are putting our stuff into the cloud so we thought it would be a great idea. You know, like infinity and beyoooond..

She stuck her hand out in a weird Nazi-esque salute and grinned.

Gettit? To Infinity and beyooond!!

Again with the weird salute.

This was worse than I thought. I had stumbled upon a nest of tech'y nazi vipers, working from within my company. I had to find out their plans and fast. It looked like they were gearing up for something big.

Oh and one more thing...

She motioned me to look at the side of the desk, on the floor lay a big mouse trap.

This used to be the storeroom for the cafeteria. So we have to be careful about rats.

She looked me right in the eye. Those red lips glistening like bolognese.

We kill rats.

She held my gaze. I got the message loud and clear. All thought of introducing her to my long pink tail flew right out the window.

I would have to tread very carefully in this cesspool. Very carefully indeed.

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It feels like it's happening to someone I know and don't know at the same time, But I suspect we all know at least one Sad-Arse.

Anyway just dropping in to say thank you for the donation to our contest, it is greatly appreciated.

No worries dude!

I hope Carlate & Sad - Arse, although sounding very weirdly, they produce organic, 100% natural extasy for eternal Youth, so we all stay etermally beautiful & handsome...Actually, 🤓eternity sign, I'm sure means, that...😉🏖🏞

I would love it if we all did stay eternally beautiful and handsome. That would be a fine thing!! Eternity yay! :O)

Honestly, beyond all the INCREDIBLE FUN this is it, I must say.

You are a extraordinary storyteller.

Ever considered writing a novel?

Ah that makes me smile! Cheers!

I have thought about it. I would probably have to stop steeming to find the time!

It would be cool! Just post updates from time to time and I am sure you'd get a lot of people cheering you up. :)

As soon as my son sleeps through the night I will think about it seriously!

Oh and one more thing...

Is Carlate related to inspector Columbo?

Hehe, that was my favourite bit with Columbo!

Problem is, it's very hard getting things back from infinity, let alone beyond.

I agree and apparently it's very cold there too!

Awww the plot thickens. I’m surprised you didn’t get a good look up her dress when you were on the floor. I think the would have provided you with an excellent opportunity to throw in a witty comment. Something about.....well I’ll leave that to you.

Maybe that was what I heard growling! :0p

The Mad Canadian??? I must go find this story. He might be the guy living across the street from me. The old fella is always angry about something!! Do we all have an angry neighbour or am I the only one blessed with such joy in my life? Carlate cannot be trusted. There is something fishy about this 8th floor. Watch your back in there!

Ha, I think we all have an angry neighbour!! I have one, she is a right menace.

And I agree... Trust No-one!

Is sad arse Tom Hanks?

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He could do a good Hank, I am sure of it!!

What's up @meesterboom! I notice a little loose legs, that's lack of training, it can not be that he fell down entering the headquarters of the lemniscate project; It can not be! kneeling in front of Carlate ... Be careful! that new computer system they are installing, far away in the clouds, sure is of German origin and the famous @meesterboom can be exposed to new ways of thinking that can transform your thoughts and your mentality to a too square shape ... ¿What about the rats?, is for stay fearful and be able to control easier with your mysterious packages and modules...Do not let them affect your imagination...Greetings.

Hola @cjao20, so many threads to weave! I wonder if our fearless hero will be able to unravel it!

I'm almost sure, that He will can solve it and come out stronger from this battle.

Oy, everyone is oh-so-serious in this place. Maybe it's time for a bit of a rat-uprising!

They are oh so serious!! It must be the lack of natural light!

Do you watch the show Silicon Valley? The most recent episode, the head guy leases an office space with no windows!! The others of course revolt...anyway, that was just the first few minutes. Love that show.

I haven't seen it. Is it on Netflix or anything? We don't have access to much else in Britain!!

I am doomed to work in windowless offices. It's like a conspiracy!

windowless? That is soul-crushing!
Silicon Valley is on HBO. It's 'start-up wars' basically, with the main guys starting a company called PiedPiper which is a decentralized "new internet"!!
Can you see this clip? it's a bit long but it's funny moments from season 1.

Hehe, that looks awesome. I will have to try and get it. That due that says mother funker a lot of hilarious

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