Odin

It's not fair?

I grumbled as I pulled my coat on.

Look, it's happening ok? Just deal with it?

I made a face as if finding out what menstruation really meant.

But it's Sunday?

I cried, with quite the wobble in my voice.

Why do we have to go to School on Sunday?

I grumpily kicked at the rug in the hall.

The good lady came through from the lounge, her face like thunder.

Right, enough. I have told you we are going and we are going and that is that. Now straighten your face and help me with the kids.

I sighed theatrically and dragged my heels into the lounge to help with the kids. It was Sunday (obviously) and the School that the little lady was starting in Autumn was having an open day for the new pupils.

There was to be all manner of festivities including a tour around her new classroom and meeting some of the pupils who were now advancing to their second year.

Needless to say, I did not want to go to School on a Sunday. The little lady was fine with it. She was even excited. It was me that had a huff on about going.

There was nothing for it though and off we went.

We arrived at the School and were hustled on a quick tour of the classrooms and through some of the activities that my daughter would be getting up to.

I noticed there were precious few Dads there. Obviously, they were all as hungover as me but had managed to pull some kind of deal with their wives in return for not going.

Oh well, I might be hungover but at least I hadn't been roped into a marathon muffing session later tonight in return for not going.

After a blurry hour or so the tribulations of the day finally seemed to be over. The last bit was the talk from the kids who were graduating into their second year of School. They filed in and stood at the front, there were about six of them. The Headteacher prompted them all to begin their spiel.

Samantha, tell us how you start your day in the morning?

Samantha piped up and told us shyly something about hanging her jacket up on a hook or some shit.

Ronald, can you tell us about your favourite part of the day?

Ronald sniffed a lot and sounded as if he was about to cry before saying something about toilet.

The Headteacher moved swiftly on.

And River, can you say something in French that you have learned?

River giggled a lot before mumbling something that sounded like awoowy roowa.

I clapped in awe with the other parents so no-one would turn on me and rend me limb from limb.

The Headteacher carried on.

Now, Odin, what did you make last week as part of your craftwork?

I froze, my blood running cold. Odin? ODIN?! The All-Father? Here? Had no-one else noticed? I flinched. I was too young to be smote with his nasty old spear. Or have my eyes pecked out by one of his bastarding ravens.

I clenched my fists and readied myself for a scrap. I wasn't going into the night quietly.

Odin stepped forward, her pinafore swishing slightly. In a crystal clear voice, she spoke.

I was happy when I got to make a volcano for our craft making and we used stuff to actually make it erupt.

I stared aghast. What the fuck was this? Someone had named their girl Odin?

Thank you Odin, now, Carly, what did you like most about your lunches last year?

Carly stepped forward and blurbled some tosh about salmon. I ignored her drivel and examined Odin for signs of fire or shit.

She noticed me staring and offered me a summery smile.

I nudged the good lady.

Quick, Odin is smiling on us. Smile back!

We both smiled pleasantly back at Odin.

She looked away. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was always better to be safe than sorry.