Dammit!

I contemplated flinging my phone at something. Instead I put on my special someone's cut my balls off and stuck a plastic cone on my neck face.

I couldn't fathom it. Everytime I looked at my crypto portfolio on my phone app Blockfolio all the prices were red and grim.

Occasionally there was a rally and prices went up a little and things were green but it was usually short-lived.

Why? Why was I cursed so? Surely there must be a reason?

Throughout my life I have been a great believer in science and logical thinking. With a sudden burst of inspiration I realised that I should apply logic and science to the problem of

The ever decreasing crypto portfolio.

The scientific method is actually fairly simple. It involves the following three steps:

Oberve
Measure
Experiment

After which you formulate your hypotheses based on your findings.

Is that four steps then? No. Because this is science.

I have found this to be useful in many aspects of life and knew that I could apply this to the decreasing crypto portfolio problem above.

Observation

I started to maintain a record of when I looked at Blockfolio and what the prices were.

I did this over a period of time until I had a wealth of data to progress with.

Measure

I began to analyse the data as I was collecting it.

It didn't take long before I saw a pattern. I was surprised. No, in fact I was astounded. The pattern that presented itself was so clear, I almost couldn't believe it.

When I looked at Blockfolio regularly the price of each and every coin I owned dipped into the red. The more I opened the app the worse prices became!?!

This was horrifying but I remembered something my old teacher of logical abstract was fond of saying...

Pish, boy. Try again!?

I examined the data further. I saw another pattern, weaker than the first but still strong.

When I was asleep crypto prices seemed to recover.

I had a think, how could this be?

Then it struck.

When I was sleeping, I wasn't using Blockfolio. So when I wasn't using it the prices went up!

The only logical conclusion that could be drawn from this was that crypto prices are...

Directly affected by me opening the Blockfolio app.

Could it really be?

I experimented by not opening it for an hour. I phoned a friend and asked them to check crypto markets.

I'm in the pub, pished, mate.

The friend said.

That was no help. I had to resort to opening the app. As I suspected, the very act of opening the app caused prices to dip.

That was all the proof I needed.

I am sure you will all agree, the science is faultless. The logic is inarguable.

I have vowed to no longer check crypto prices in Blockfolio. I don't do this just for me. I do it for all of you fellow cryptonauts.

From now on in, we are going to the moon!

You're welcome.