Hero of Crypto

in #life6 years ago (edited)

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Dammit!

I contemplated flinging my phone at something. Instead I put on my special someone's cut my balls off and stuck a plastic cone on my neck face.

I couldn't fathom it. Everytime I looked at my crypto portfolio on my phone app Blockfolio all the prices were red and grim.

Occasionally there was a rally and prices went up a little and things were green but it was usually short-lived.

Why? Why was I cursed so? Surely there must be a reason?

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Throughout my life I have been a great believer in science and logical thinking. With a sudden burst of inspiration I realised that I should apply logic and science to the problem of

The ever decreasing crypto portfolio.

The scientific method is actually fairly simple. It involves the following three steps:

Oberve
Measure
Experiment

After which you formulate your hypotheses based on your findings.

Is that four steps then? No. Because this is science.

I have found this to be useful in many aspects of life and knew that I could apply this to the decreasing crypto portfolio problem above.

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Observation

I started to maintain a record of when I looked at Blockfolio and what the prices were.

I did this over a period of time until I had a wealth of data to progress with.

Measure

I began to analyse the data as I was collecting it.

It didn't take long before I saw a pattern. I was surprised. No, in fact I was astounded. The pattern that presented itself was so clear, I almost couldn't believe it.

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When I looked at Blockfolio regularly the price of each and every coin I owned dipped into the red. The more I opened the app the worse prices became!?!

This was horrifying but I remembered something my old teacher of logical abstract was fond of saying...

Pish, boy. Try again!?

I examined the data further. I saw another pattern, weaker than the first but still strong.

When I was asleep crypto prices seemed to recover.

I had a think, how could this be?

Then it struck.

When I was sleeping, I wasn't using Blockfolio. So when I wasn't using it the prices went up!

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The only logical conclusion that could be drawn from this was that crypto prices are...

Directly affected by me opening the Blockfolio app.

Could it really be?

I experimented by not opening it for an hour. I phoned a friend and asked them to check crypto markets.

I'm in the pub, pished, mate.

The friend said.

That was no help. I had to resort to opening the app. As I suspected, the very act of opening the app caused prices to dip.

That was all the proof I needed.

I am sure you will all agree, the science is faultless. The logic is inarguable.

I have vowed to no longer check crypto prices in Blockfolio. I don't do this just for me. I do it for all of you fellow cryptonauts.

From now on in, we are going to the moon!

You're welcome.

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I can't believe you've only arrived at this now (er, 4 days ago). I've been hinting this to you for months! I have deleted my Blockfolio months ago, after which the cryptos all made that push. But then it dipped, and I traced it all back to your half of the equation. I've been carefully leading you to this conclusion ever since. Now that you have, all we have to do is wait for the prices to go up. It's only a matter of time.

I should have listened!! Oh lordy how I should have listened! I have been a fool. Dont worry though. I am on page now. I have not looked at it at all. Well, apart from yesterday evening when I had a little peek and everything was going splendidly. I expect we are almost at the moon now!

Have you reinstalled it!? Tell me you haven't!! Eek gahd!

No, but I presume the world is still good and healthy!

It is! Oh, but it is! Whew! Crisis averted.

So it was you! I knew it. And there I was blaming Ned.

Its all me, Iam the felon! In fact...

I am Spartacus!

It is Boom and Ned!!!!

Are they in cahoots?

I only wrote that to be able to use the word "cahoots".

I believe they are!

It is a good word but not sure if they use it in Scotland lol

ah yes, cahoots, one of the old classics. I have a few words of my own like that, of which I write sentences simply to utilize. Perhaps I should do that for cahoots as well...

Lol. it does seem like that. Every time you look they have dropped some more. I used to also think it was because of me. If i bought a coin it was guaranteed to have the arse fall out of it.

I do have another more legit theory which is that the market is so giverned by bots that any human interaction just means they all take advantage of it!

That is true and one of the main reasons I hate bots. The market has changed for traders and is more difficult to read on quick trades now.

It is, it didn't take me long to realise that quick fast trades are almost impossible to realisitically win on

Hahaha!! Unfortunately I am convinced that the horrendous drop is all the fault of my hubby joining steemit- he has the luck of a fly on a fly strip, a bare foot in a pile of steaming dog doo, a sky diver with a faulty chute... I have always consoled him by saying that it wouldn't be fair for someone with his skills to have luck too, but right now I am quite as irritated with his abominable luck as he is!

;)

It's both of us!!! Hahaha!!

Bloody hell, a double whammy!!! ;O)

Well, you can take solace in my words, you gotz to many skillz to have luck! lol!

I am taking all the solacez!! ;0)

Dayum Boom, you're the reason my stock went to hell? I'm flabbergasted, not to mention broke... and because of you! I'm so broke, if I had 5 dollars in my pocket, I'd have someone else's pants on... Thank You for finally figuring this all out, and STOP opening Blockfolio!

I am the reason and I am also the saviour!! Consider it stopped! :OD

Boom = mc squared.

BOOM MATH!

:O)

This is actually fairly accurate. Have you ever tried squaring mass and the speed of light in a small space?

BOOM!

By golly, I think you have solved the problem with crypto. This is a game changer. Analysts from all over are going to be talking about this revelation for the weeks to come as the market floods with a sea of green. This might even be a Nobel Prize worthy discovery.

I think a nobel could be in the offing. After all the evidence does not lie!

I would go so far as to say it is incontrovertible!

@meesterboom Very true what you propose, there is no science in this of the cryptocurrencies, all inaccurate weighings, I also opt for the option of not looking more my wallet and prices, I am contributing to the price rise to the moon
I wish you a beautiful Sunday dear friend

Then the prices have no option but to obey and head for the moon! We can do it together!

Cheers @jlufer!

For crypto to go to the moon, we have to find a way to keep you in sleep mode all the time lol. I have a suspicion you just checked your Blockfolio. Crypto just dipped down a bit.

I might have... I promise, I really will stop!! :OD

Perfect! Now they will for sure skyrocket! <3 Cheers!

*Guaranteed!!

*not guaranteed

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