I went to a really small school where everyone in the same grade had the same teachers and classes every year. Seventh grade was the worst year for a few reasons:
- The school chose the weirdest three teachers to teach this grade.
- We didn't even get regular classrooms. All the classes were in bungalows near the playground.
- It was the hardest year. The school was known for giving the kids a lot of books and homework, but seventh grade was the most work. More than high school or college.
- My mom was married to a rotten jerk for less than a year. My step brother was the same age as me so he went to school with me for part of the year.
But for now, I will only be focusing on the weird teachers. Here they are, presented in order of weirdness.
The Sleeping Pill
First up is the math teacher. He was really monotone and boring. How could I learn such a boring subject from such a boring guy? I did terrible. They need exciting people to teach math but that was never the case for me. He also taught "electives", which weren't actually electives since we didn't get to choose them. One of the electives was dance and he taught us hula, among other dances. Imagine Ben Stein teaching you about hukilau and catching humuhumu, that's how it was. I know something else made him weird, but all I remember is how monotone he was for now.
Next was the social studies teacher. He treated us all like we were in the military. He made us line up in teams in the morning, after recess and after lunch. They were Alpha, Beta, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Fox.... I don't remember, the groups were named after the military alphabet or something. He was very strict and told us we needed to shape up. He would give us really hard quizzes that didn't really test our knowledge so much as they tested our ability to remember minute details from the book. Sometimes he would test us on something a picture caption said. It wasn't even the main text! He also taught music and he would close his eyes and pump his fists as we listened to classical music.
Now, the best for last - the English teacher. She was a newlywed in her second marriage and had a new lease on life. This new husband of hers woke up something primal in her. She told us that "sex [was] wonderful", but then added that we should wait till we were older. Anyway, we had to hear about this guy and inappropriate stuff all the time. Sometimes, after the bell rang, she let all the boys go home but kept all the girls after class to talk to us. I felt so uncomfortable whenever she did that! She told us that we shouldn't be embarassed to explore our bodies and look in the mirror at our privates. She said she felt embarassed at our age and had to do it in secret. Are we supposed to do that in front of our parents?
Besides sexual stuff, she said some stuff that some of the students thought was racist. Like, she said "Latinos mature much faster than you Asians" (most of the students were Asian). I forget the context, she was admiring their big strong bodies or something. Another time she said, "Get that through your thick Asian skulls!"
Well those were at least some of my weirdest teachers. What was your weirdest teacher like?