I am still lacking on leadership and management skill whereby I was not able to manage my team well when it comes to tasks delivery. The fault of course is on me that as a management level personal, I need to be able to manage and work things out. Well, that’s why I started to pick up different management course online to build up the skills needed to be a good manager. Of course, managing myself is different from managing others as it involves others’ voice and perception. I cannot use my own mindset to make my comrades to follow my instructions as this will turn things ugly eventually. From my personal experience, what matters the most as a manager is to be acknowledged by your team members or I would call comrades.

The Three Golden Rules

The article that I read about provided three crucial points to lead a team with simple habits which I think should become part of me and I have to keep reminding myself about these three:

1. Reply with the last word of your comrade. Consciously, I do remember that I did use this some times but not to that extent to make the impression that I’m listening. My intention is to clarify what I had received from him and make sure that the message is clear. Many cases that I misinterpret my comrades or superiors message and did things wrongly, causing wastage of time and effort. Again, make it a habit and keep myself being attentive with what others are saying and start my own statement with the last word of their statement. This will make them subconsciously feel appreciated.
2. Ask “what happened?” In a lot of conversation, things turn out to be not within our expectation. Rather than denying the reality and insisted that things should not happen that way, why not just ask the reason behind that things happen that way. With that curiosity, it actually could drive us towards solution. People will be more willing to share as they feel the empathy from the listener. Keeping the conversation going until we find the root problem then only we can get the best solution.
3. Rather than “Yes, but”, try “Yes, then”. Most of us don’t like to be denied as the feeling of getting rejected is shitty. Even between comrades that had been working together for years, this would become a time bomb if we keep denying statements from each other. Thus, we should learn to say “Yes, this sounds interesting to me, I never think of that way.” Agreeing his statement or at the very least acknowledge his statement. Then, from our point of view, add in “after listening to your statement, then it leads me to think about this and that, what do you think?” This is a bit of sweet coating, not a raw brainstorming tactic whereby we are ready to take raw criticism and proceed. But to be consciously doing this is very tiring, might as well I make it a habit to talk this way. Then, through action, it will change how my mind works too.

Well, all three sounds easy but when it comes to consistent implementation, it does need some training. Nonetheless, I believe that through such change of micro habits, it could change my management skills in the near future, putting me in a more favorable position to collaborate with large group of people.

Summary

Let me summarize again on the changes I want to do, making it to my daily affirmation list:

1. Use the last word.
2. Use “what happened?”
3. Use “Yes, then”

Reminder

If you happen to talk to me, you can remind me as well when I did not follow on my 3 golden rules.