Following Through on our Word & Respecting Commitments vs Being Flexible & Living in the Present

in life •  6 months ago

This is something I've had some challenges with my entire life. As my philosophy, epistemology, and purpose in life have developed, the angle from which I consider this question has changed many times.

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Recently, there's been a few times that I've found myself looking at an upcoming event, not really being super excited about it anymore, and really just going because I had made a commitment to the organizer(s) that I would be there to help. Once I've told someone that I would be there for something, once I make that agreement, I feel quite bound by it.

It's important to be present, honor myself, stay in alignment... but it's also important to be impeccable with your word. Where does the line fall? To what extent does communication remove the commitments made?

Many times when I've just let go and surrendered that I would go to an event just because I said I would, it ends up re-arranging itself in some way and I don't actually have to go. Other times I'll go, and the event will unfold in some totally different way from what I was expecting it to be, and will be exactly what I need. The wonderful thing is that both of the times this happened recently, the entire event unfolded completely differently from what I thought it would be, and ended up being absolutely great!

This weekend I've been in Austin, Texas for Voice & Exit. I got excited about it many months ago talking to my friend @scottermonkey, signed up as a volunteer, and honestly wasn't sure if I was going until 2 days before it started. I was sitting in Arizona trying to decide if I wanted to fly out here for it or not. I decided to come out for the event, and sort of focus on research, soaking things in and helping design @be-empowered. After the first couple of meals at the event, there were proving to be some issues with the person in charge of feeding volunteers, and a few hours later I had a green-light to cancel various catering orders and buy the ingredients to cook some meals with. The best part has been hanging out with @silverspade, @scottermonkey, and @jcslater09, talking about Real Life and philosophy.

Before this, I was in Arizona at my friend @adamkokesh's Freedom Farm. I love Adam, and I love the people out there, and I love the conversations that come up... by I really dislike the desert. I'm a temperate rain-forest creature, and that dry, windy climate doesn't do it for me. I also went into the event thinking I would be cooking for 60 people (with pretty limited, mostly outside in the elements, cooking equipment). Luckily, instead of being some crazy busy time, it was a nice relaxing week, I was able to stay active on Steemit, and I got a ton of rest :-)

Whether I stick with it and go do the thing, or if I reach out and cancel & heading to something else instead (or just doing nothing), it seems to turn out great. It's a tricky choice though, so I've been letting my gut guide me at this point, and it seems to be working. Thoughts? Experiences? I'd love to know someone else's thoughts on this.



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Keeping one's word is persuasive because it provides consistency. If you're trying to decide how much credit a person's word has you look at your experiences with how often they keep their promises. Of course there are always exceptions that prove a rule such as if a commitment was made with faulty information or if the values of a party have shifted. When an extenuating circumstance arises communication and evidence based dialogues become a necessity in order to maintain consistency even when a promised action can't or won't be performed.

From a personal perspective I totally agree with kennyskitchen. Follow your gut even if it doesn't end up like you think everything will work out in the end.

It's a tricky choice though, so I've been letting my gut guide me at this point, and it seems to be working. Thoughts? Experiences? I'd love to know someone else's thoughts on this.

I was going to say this same thing. It's probably more of a follow your heart or gut thing than using your mind.

Have you heard Bashar's teaching of Following Your Highest Excitement?

P.S. Your life sounds amazing - it sounds like you travel around and go to events!


I don't know if I've heard that particular piece from Bashar, but I'm familiar with the teaching.

Most of the time though, none of the potentials are really much more exciting than the others; they're all things I could give or take.

I've shaped my reality into one where every experience & interaction brings healing, connection, learning, and joy... which is great! It also means that unless one of the options has some crazy awesome thing about it, then to me it really doesn't matter to much which way I go.

you should just follow if it is useful @kennyskitchen

Hey man, don't would I sound crazy to you, but I don't care in the end... Not saying this because I think I know more then others or so, it's because I decided just to be myself and speak my opinion not caring how it will be received. Yea man, oooooo yeeeaaaa hahahaha

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that we are infinite creatures having possibility to end up in whatever reality we want to. You said you didn't want to go to some event and something always happen so your desire really happen. Like you step in reality where your attending the event didn't happen. It's because your vibration desire let you in reality that matched you desire and the event didn't happen. If you thought there is no other option beside attending the event, you will end up in that event.

Basically, what we are experiencing as life is shifting realities all the time, every moment of our life. It's like there is infinite cartoon in front of you and you are choosing from all that Kenny's what Kenny you will experience as your experience. In the same time there was reality where you attended those events, but also lot of other realities, one of them was you not attending them. You obviously choose to experience reality where you didn't attend the event.

Everything is projection of our inner thoughts, desires or whatever. How many times you hear someone say 'When I change my attitude, everything change!' Yes, you choose to enter reality where you desires will manifest.

This all say a lot about nature of reality we experience. It's not like most of people think. Well, they believe they are little powerless me and because of it they are experience that reality. When they change those thought, they will move into reality that matches their inner thoughts.

I wrote randomly, but I hope you understand what I want to say.

An interesting topic and some very good points you make in there. Got me thinking about my own philosophy regarding commitments. After doing that I would have to add that in my experience I sometimes also make a commitment because by doing that I motivate myself to actually do what I promised with no excuses or changing of minds in the last minute because I do believe that respecting commitments generates trustful and sincere relationships... which can stay healthy even if I sometimes have to communicate my way out of a promise already made. Either way - as you pointed out - the experiences turn out great :) All the best to you @kennyskitchen, I appreciate your work on helping out new steemians in general.

Wow!!! Wonderful philosophy... And I said it is very good thing to keep to one's word., it makes people have much trust in you.

Please do well to read and upvote my post on hypertension here

Nice quotes tks

I don't have much thoughts on it though, I'm just happy that you had a very nice experience from the trip and everything turned out to work well with you during your stay in Austin, Texas.

What's on the menu kenny?

I struggle with this too. Keeping my word is important to me. I am very careful with volunteer commitments. I no longer sit on boards. I choose to volunteer for 1 day or 2 day events at most for various organizations that mean something to me. I seem to always follow the same pattern. A day or two before, I wished I did not have that commitment (because I love having free time and I am an introvert). However, each time I get there, within 10-15 minutes, I am happy to be there. I'm energized by the event and the people. At the end of the event, I feel good about having contributed.

Hello, just peeped in to check out your profile.

Right at the top... Healing Myself to Heal the World... I too am on this path. I really hope to be able to use Steemit to explore myself... By being inspired by phrases and concepts gifted by others and as a means to see what is going on my own head... It often must leave me to return to me.

About this post... I try to go with the flow... Integrity is name written on my ruler. I, in my healing, am learning a sense of self previously missing...sometimes I find I need to give new words to update a situation... Impeccable on my honesty and integrity at the moment is often more important than sticking too my previously given word.

Until next time... Filled with gratitude for the people I am discovering here on Steemit.

Whenever we take an opportunity the universe provides tons of new doors of chances for us. Going to events is always rich in possibilities to change our lives.

I feel this very intensely as a person. As a kid I had it drummed into me to keep my word, especially in terms of commitments. I found that I carried this into adulthood on the simple principle of how disappointing it feels when someone says they'll be there and they're not. Like a kid with a deflating balloon and a sad, smeared birthday cake. The problem is that in adulthood I have found that others don't seem to uphold the same principle and I am supposed to nod and smile when they don't turn up where they say they're going to be. Any objection from me is greeted with ;why can't you just chill out' reponses. I don't think I'm a stickler for it in others, usually I shrug it off, but have also found recently that other people around me respond to this by asking why I let people walk all over me. It's a strange balance, an obscure fine line to tow. Sometimes choosing our own path can lead us to forget how other people feel yet not choosing our own path can leave us on the sidelines. Interesting.

This! I struggle with this. You know I have anxiety issues and I tend to hide when I'm overwhelmed or when things don't go as I expected. I remember one Christmas in particular where I hid in the bathroom from you and your brother and I felt like a total idiot. It was during a time when Dan and I worked at different times and I'd come home to a house full of people all of the time and I had no control over it. I feel like when I don't want to go to a thing anymore, it's usually because I didn't want to go in the first place and I was pressured into doing something. My therapist says that we have anxiety when things don't align with our goals. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I enjoyed this. Thank you!