This is who I am, I wish I was more like you.
I'm 54 next month but that doesn't change how i feel a lot of the time. I am the one person who'll always puts myself down. My parents used to do it a lot, especially my father. He had nicknames for me that used to hurt me, they but made him laugh. He loved to compare you to other children even children on the TV. Why can't you be like those kids was his favourite saying I do the same now with everything I do.... even Steemit.
I have surprised myself by sticking with Steemit for so long, it will be my 2nd Steemit birthday in July. I dont usually last this long as after a few months I feel like I'm not good enough.
Its been hard to keep going with Steemit as i constantly have doubts about myself. I should be doing better, I'm not good enough, I don't belong here, everyone else is better than me. I'm not looking for praise, Its who I am and what I always do, I always put myself down.
It doesnt matter what anyone says to me to make me feel better, it's not going to work my father did a Good job on messing my head up. Its the only thing he could do well.
I laugh at myself the way he used to, i call myself names some of them are pretty nasty names, i look in the Mirror and hate who I see.
Its who I am, he made me who I am.
Thank you son-of-satire
I had a crap childhood too, Karen. If I can overcome it so can you. We have to keep telling ourselves that we are worth it. I know that you are a truly loving and caring person.I remember what a friend said to me on my wedding day. She told me that my father was the loser because he had no idea how special his daughter was. And I am going to tell you the same. Your father is the loser because he doesn't know how special his daughter is.
Thank you,I have dealt with the abuse but find these thoughts difficult to break away from. He is a loser he has lost me and 2 granddaughters. :)
Yup I had similar experiences growing up also @karenb54 and when it comes to Steemit it can be tough but honestly you are doing really well on here if you look at the many others who struggle to get a penny or gave up completely your still here.
The thing is its not the money, its how i feel aboot myself. I see everyone else improving but i feel as if i am getting worse. Its the thoughts i have had after being told numerous times a day how useless i was. At least one thing i do know is I'm a better person than him :)
Thanks for sharing my story with me. Your life story is almost the same as mine. I'm also a person who is often ignored, I'm the least confident and until now I still have not succeeded. I can not boast of my parents yet. Building confidence is difficult, but keep trying and always think positive, just ignore the things that you do not think good. If a father who always gives an example or compare us with other children, I think it's natural, because all parents want the best for their children. Parents want us to be able, just like any other child. But that's all also from our own. Because men's different ability. We pray, hope, do not despair and keep trying, may we be successful and can boast our parents. It's my dream and maybe everyone. Keep the spirit Karen..😄
Thank You. I have dealt with the abuse i went through but can't change from how i think.
Friend every day you will always have a new opportunity to do great things with your life. Animo ... I send you many hugs
Thank you. :)
Hard luck, I just finished that marathon, had a look to find you were having a downer.
You can't do that here, this is not a place for downers, only UP PERs [personnel who are goin up] are allowed.
stick your nose out the window, suck in a big lung full of fresh air, plant some more seeds and tend to the ones already growing.
There, don't you feel better?
Nope not having a downer just saying how i always think. Its something i find hard to shake off as it happens with everything i do.
Therefore, don't think, get your hands dirty mixing another " grow, you B grow" brew, work it into the top of the growing trees.
Use the remainder mixed up under today's seeds, between times, enjoy the sun beaming down on you.
Works better without thought, you know you are good, you don't have to think it.
I need to make up so more special mush for the plants. Nichola said I'm not eating any of your home grown food if you have put any of that crap on it hahaha
Do it when she isn't at home.
What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve.
When she comments on how good it tastes, you come up with
"Home Grown".
I would be ecstatic if she ate some broccoli lol she is a Vegetarian that doesnt like vegetables :)
why can't you be like me?
why would anyone want to be like me?
Hell, even I don't want to be like me!
I used to get the same question - why must you always be so difficult? Why can't you be like everyone else?
The answer is, and always will be, because I'm different, and different is good. Different is not easy, or friendly, or nice, or simple. Different is hard, lonely, terrifying....
But different is never boring.
Look at all the people who made a mark in the world - all of them were different just like you, just like me.
So be happy to be yourself, be happy to be different, be happy to be 54. It could be a whole lot worse. You could be like them and be all the same.
I'm not bothered about being 54 just thought by now my thoughts would have changed. Being told your useless, no good, shouldn't have been born still plays on my mind with everything i do.
Situations like this makes many a copy character wise instead of themselves.
It does not matter what happened many years ago. You are a wonderful person and today you are surrounded by people who love you and will never hurt you. And you, the adult Karen, should pity and reassure that little Karen, who today has become your Inner Child. Only then will that little girl be able to gain self-confidence, and with her the grown-up you will also do it. With love from all of us:)
Thank you :) Your so right my inner child needs more reassurance, whenever I am feeling low its the 14 yr old that seems to raise her head.
You just need a new father, my dear friend...
As you know, I highly recommend adopting God as your father... :D
😄😇😄
He would often threaten to put me in a home, wish he had done.
I might have too :)
It saddens me to hear that!
Daughters ought to be treasured...
He had 4, he was and is a sad man.
How many fathers have broken down their daughters like that? I don't know if it will help but it reminded me of this song that Kelly Clarkson sang on American Idol a couple of years ago about how her father destroyed her faith in herself, and she and her husband are breaking the cycle and putting their children first. Have a listen.
There are plenty of people here and in your real life who love you for your kind heart and generous spirit. Trust their judgement of you, not his. x
I try to but hard to ignore that voice. I have done the same, my girls will never go through what i did. I Love that song and thank you it means a lot x