Photo taken from Unsplash, a big thank you to Slava Bowman.

A few months ago I came to the conclusion that I wanted to move to another city (and go to university in that city) after high school. It felt like the right idea, I needed a change in my life. I was writing down comparative schemes with @axynos as to whether I should do it or not, I discussed it with my family (my aunt, my grandma, my brother) and the only thing (or rather, person), which got in my way, was my mother. Needless to say, her reaction to this idea was furious and utterly destructive.

I felt like my whole world was tumbling down the stairs. My life, after falling down, just laid there at the bottom of the stairs and cried in a fetal position. The worst feeling in my life has been the feeling of denial. It wasn't just a simple denial either, it couldn't be discussed, it was a blatant no right in my face.

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Standing under a tree while it's raining and thundering isn't certainly a great idea, but if you have someone next to you, it's much more likable. It's about believing that the thunder will not hit the one tree in a huge forest that you're standing under to hide from the rain.

But this story isn't about me being sad because I was denied my dreams. This story is about having and needing yourself and your loved one(s) believe in you. It's not just having them understand what's best for you, but it's also realizing that you should make your own choices and if they're well thought through - go for it!

A Chinese philosopher named Laozi once said, "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, but while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

It might be easy for you to live without someone, who is always there to tell you that "everything is going to be alright" or "we can get through this", but for me, it isn't. There is something about the feeling of being loved that keeps me going through even the toughest days. As time goes by, you also start loving yourself like people love you, but in order for that to happen, you have to first feel loved.

I am happy to say I am experiencing it every day, through and through. It is the feeling of someone missing you, saying "I love you" or asking you "How are you?" while really meaning it, keeping a space for me in their bed... anything. It all comes together to an imaginative bright orange-pink-red-yellow sunset and the feeling of warmth deep inside you. It's always there, it never leaves. And I hope she doesn't either.

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Photo taken from Unsplash, a huge thanks to Jan Zieleniewski for this wonderful photo.

Your fate is created just the way you want it to be created. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you would like them to, but following every downfall is a huge mountain (probably as high as Mount Everest) and even if you keep falling down again and again -- you will reach the top. And damn it feels good to be at the top.

"Everything goes exactly like it's supposed to go," is what my girlfriend with a heart of gold has always told me. I have finally accepted the fact that I am not able to see into the future, but always working towards a better one certainly does good things. And if you feel loved, if you believe in yourself and believe in the people around you (or just one next to you), you will succeed. If you want things to go the way they go, work harder.

Everything goes the way it's supposed to go -- working for it to go exactly the right way is always a great thing to do though. Belive in the hard work you put into creating a better future for yourself.