I GOT ISSUES (and suggestions for easing the internal chaos they cause)
I was at the gym, and a song came on my playlist called “Issues” by Julia Michaels (a pumped of version, of course). The tone of the song isn’t really what caught me, but just the line, “I got issues.” Actually, the song seems to be a love song, and so what I am walking away with is perhaps not what was intended. That's part of the beauty of art though, right?
A couple days ago, and plenty of days, I have these feelings of emptiness for no reason. I was working hard on a new project, coming up with lots of cool ideas, being productive, but this feeling of emptiness I had just wouldn’t go away. I kept working, took Luna out for a long walk, did some stretching, and maybe that was good, but really, the emptiness didn't go away for the rest of the day, and I never did figure out why.
This happens to me frequently enough for me to notice that I HAVE ISSUES. My issues come after me this way, with ennui and tunnels of emptiness, out of nowhere. Out of nowhere, and for seemingly no reason (to be sure, I bet there is a reason, and I just don’t know it). I’m writing this, and I wrote this phrase on myself, because I think it’s important to recognize that these things happen, and it's ok that they happen. We all have issues that manifest in many different ways.
We should be more open about this. We should talk to each other. We should not be ashamed of having issues. We should be honest with ourselves and others about what we're truly feeling. I was talking about it with someone, and he gave me some golden suggestions for things to do when those feelings sneak up on me like the riptide that they are and carry me to some dark place. Then I went thinking about it some more and added my own ideas.
Here's a list of my favorite things to do when I encounter these feelings of emptiness, the ones that I can't seem to push out by sheer will:
cuddling/long long long hugs
group naps
lying in a hammock
warm baths full of oils and bubbles
coloring in a picture with sharp colored pencils
painting a wall
painting your body
writing for 10 minutes without thinking
stretching the body and breathing mindfully and slowly
brushing your dog or cat
That's all I could come up with that would potentially ease those particular strong and unsettling emotions for me. I would love to hear any suggestions from the Steemit world.
(and here's an adorable picture of @kidpistola and Luna sleeping this morning, because they are always essential in easing my mind during dark moments)
(and here's the song this whole thought process was inspired by)
xoxo
Humans are weird. We have so many unexpected ups and downs. I think the walls we put up around ourselves (that block our vulnerability from others to see) probably has some kind of magnifying effect. I think being open about our issues can easily help sooth them, while teaching others at the same time.
I really like your posts. I always find myself interested in what you have to say. I think its the rawness\unfilteredness you allow to come out. An untainted glimpse at another person's thoughts. I feel like that is a hard thing to find.
Anyways, keep the thoughts and art flowing! I've added you to my voting bot. Clearly a good investment of my votes. Haha
Hey! Thank you so much for the sincere compliment. When I was a kid, I learned so much about the world through reading. Mostly I was reading fiction, but even still, it was realistic. And then when I started college I started reading creative nonfiction, and it just blew me away. That's maybe why I started writing like this, sharing so much. I think it is important, especially in this digital age, in building a solid level of empathy in our society. In any case, I really appreciate your support. Writing is my lifeblood, my passion, and it means a lot when others can share in what I write. xoxoxo
Your welcome. Its much deserved. I usually prefer to read nonfiction, but "creative nonfiction" is something that I'm not familiar with.
I like how it seems as if you just poured words out of your head, and they landed in perfect order. Lol
i love that song.to me its a love song where the girl is telling the guy that she has issues but they both have issues and they are going to be alright and they just accept each other. because i feel if you really love someone, you accept all parts of them including their flaws. so if i feel down or empty read a good book, most likely a fantasy book or i watch a funny cartoon like family guy or rick and morty.
Yeah it’s pretty standard that around winter solstice time, we start really feeling the vitamin D withdrawal and go into our little sad place. Good thing it’s totally ok to feel lazy and sad, normal even! Self care is essential, and not worrying about missing out on anything goin on outside.
I honestly was thinking it could be related to the winter solstice, but we have so much sun this time of year in Mexico City, so I don't know!!!!
Doesn’t matter, your body still feels the shift!
You're so right!
Thanks for sharing your story, and your suggestions! I would add doing meditation, and playing guitar, or any instrument if you play.
I too have these feelings of loneliness and emptiness come out of nowhere and ruin a day that was seemingly going well. I also struggle with the perception that people have of mental health issues, and perhaps it's more in my mind than anything else, but it seems most people don't want to talk about stuff. That ol patent answer to the question of how are you? I'm fine! Speaks volumes , while not speaking volumes. I feel that we are all so busy building up mental/emotional walls, that it has become the norm to tune each other out. I sincerely hope that you feel better, and one day won't have to suffer with depression.
People definitely don't want to talk about stuff, of when they do, they feel guilty about it or ashamed. I think it is our job to change the way this is played out by just sharing our own feelings in a productive way.
For me, the depression is just a part of who I am, I think. I am lucky to not be plagued with endless depression, but one that weaves in and out of my life. I am a person that feels things really deeply, and I would rather have that (even with the bouts of emptiness) than any other way. It is a sort of fuel in its own way, and I appreciate it.
You sound empathetic, I am as well. I was born on the Pisces and Aquarius cusp, which happens to be known as the cusp of sensitivity. I feel other people's emotions, struggles, and strifes as if they were my own. I think this is why I often feel empty, or alone even when surrounded by people. I can feel my energy being drained from me during comversations and during particularly emotional conversations as well, which is often as I work with people who have dementia.
I totally agree with you about sharing our experiences with other people in a constructive way, as that could help others feel less embarrassed and ashamed. Thank you again for sharing !
Glad you're writing through those feelings and I hope you're getting all the longest hugs you can handle!
I read recently that a hug that lasts 7+ seconds releases serotonin and dopamine in the brain, that can't hurt right? <3
I love those long hugs!
Well, so does your brain chemical receptors! ;)