Fumbling Toward Jesus: Chill Out! (Psalm 46:10)
Sometimes taking the time to chill out, step back, and remember that God is in control can be the hardest thing.
Life can change drastically—in a moment—and that’s when our natural human instincts kick in. I struggle with both controlling feelings and the need to fix whatever it is that I feel has gone awry.
Today, I am praying to simply BE STILL. We have to strive to STOP—to pause for as long as it takes—to get ourselves back in check and in step with our Father. As it says in Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
To reiterate the following scripture, His thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are not our ways—they’re higher than ours. They’re better than ours.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55: 8-9
For a person who has a natural propensity to want to control as many aspects of her world as possible, this is big stuff, y’all. It’s not easy. It sounds easy, but in practice it’s amazingly difficult.
Since becoming sober, being alone with my thoughts has been a beautifully ugly experience. I realized, in a moment, that for the past 15 years, I’d been making all attempts to never be alone with my thoughts—and when I sensed that was going to happen—I made all effort to shut it up and turned the volume down with a combination of benzos, opiates, alcohol, and weed.
What I ultimately got out of all of that chemical abuse was becoming incredibly disconnected with who I was, and how I dealt with things, because in my attempts to turn the volume down on my brain, I ultimately ceased dealing with anything. Wasn’t interested in dealing with my brain—just interested in turning it off.
This culminated in a myriad of feelings of self-pity, self-loathing, and even suicidal ideation. It’s been tough being in my own sober head all the time—alone with my unadulterated thoughts. I have a really raw brain. Not going to lie about that, y’all. It’s been a struggle, but it’s one that with Christ, I know is possible, and I think I’m even learning to love and appreciate who I am in that process. Still definitely a process (I’m learning, but I’m not totally there yet), but it’s a process I feel I’m actually engaging in, instead of running away from.
I’m practicing placing trust in my Father to deliver me not only from my addictions, but also to deliver me from my own mental battles with myself. He’s bigger than my struggles, and He has me in his arms. That said, sometimes it’s important to just CHILL OUT and remember it.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3: 20-21
We have to learn to trust in that knowledge in a deeply rooted sense in every aspect of our lives. Stop. Pause. Chill out. Be still. He’s got this.
1. Is it difficult for you to take a moment to stop and reflect?
2. What methods do you employ to chill out? Are they healthy for you and have a positive effect on your overall life?
Drop a comment below, and let’s grow together in His grace!
I am Jessamyn Orchard (@jessamynorchard), and I am a former youth pastor, worship minister, and church lay leader, who graduated from a Christian college. Most recently, however, I’m an addict in recovery who rededicated my life to Jesus about 6 months ago. I was raised in church, and saved at age 12, but I did a lot of straying over the past 10+ years, falling into pits of sin through addictions and self-pity. I’m no authority, just a believer in a big God and called to spread His word through as many conduits as present themselves to me. Fumbling Toward Jesus is a multi-media ministry campaign and includes a written blog of daily devotions on Steemit and an accompanying monthly podcast on Anchor.fm, and it represents years of study—both over the years and lately, and now combined with a whole load of human experience. I’m just a super nerdy sinner saved by a really awesome grace.
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