You're not in control.

It's a horrible concept, I know. I've been trying to grasp it the whole day myself, and it's really...well, really hard.

I mean I'm not a control-freak. Not in the traditional sense, at least. I don't want things to happen as I say, I don't care about knowing everything in the exact manner it will unfold. I don't care. But the more I think about it, the more certain I become that that's not what being a control-freak is...apparently.
I find in myself the unhealthy tendency to try and be in control of things, as they happen. If you ask me, most of everything is my fault or at least, would be far better if I would act differently.

I keep believing that it's all up to me, that I can change every little (or big) situation.

But I can't.

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Now, I've had a really unpleasant twenty-four hours, which began with my boyfriend acting like a complete ass. Then my mom felt ill, call ambulance, panic etc. It was all alright, in the end, it turned out it was just weakness from the flu she's had all week. A trip through the pouring snow for meds, and now, finally, I'm in front of my computer and the one recurring thought of the day was exactly the title of this article – you're not in control.

It was not your actions that prompted this. Any of it. The only thing you can do, now, is REACT.

And not to seem self-absorbed or whatever, but I'm right. I find that I'm a very sweep-it-under-the-rug kind of person, I keep thinking of things to do or say that would make a situation better. And they would make it better, I'm not saying they wouldn't. But I realize that I can't control everything and that I really should allow things to take their course.
I'm not responsible for what other people do or feel and I can't change those things, no matter how much I try or want to. What I mean is that yes, you can make a situation better, through your reaction to what has already happened. But that's just what it is – a reaction – it doesn't make the initial bad situation disappear.

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How you react defines you

I'm afraid this is also true...
And I think a lot of people who are sad in this world are that way because of the way they reacted to the things that happened to them. Because bad things happen to everyone, nice people, jerks, everyone suffers, everyone goes through tough times. So there's no changing that. And thinking about how you could avoid it is a waste of time. Just like maintaining this illusion that you're in control of the things that happen to you is wasting your time.
You are not in control and you are not responsible for everything. Because you can't be. And trust me when I say this, you'll only make it harder on yourself if you keep believing that. Because on top of everything that's happening to you, you also become frustrated that you couldn't prevent these events from happening. Don't imagine you can do that, because it's simply something that is not up to you.
So don't focus on it, on the bad things that have happened. Focus on how you react to them.

You can't change yesterday, but you can improve tomorrow.

I think we crave the illusion of control, that knowing we are somehow responsible for what happens – even the bad things – gives us some sort of security. And we so desperately need that security, that feeling of being in charge, because then, life isn't so damn confusing and (sometimes) unpleasant.

Take life as it comes, take things as they happen.

You're only harming yourself, if you think you can control everything. It's not all up to you, you're not God. So, learn to recognize the things you're in charge of. Because despite of all this talk about not being in control, you are in charge of some things.
Don't act as if you're in control of it all, but don't act as if you're not in control of anything, either. You're not all-powerful, but you're not helpless, either.

You're somewhere in the middle.

Surviving. Observing. Reacting.
Just like the rest of us.

As my beloved Warren Zevon says, has to happen to the best of us