I have written quite a bit about my students’ and my successes in the classroom. Its fun to think about and share those very positive experiences. Unfortunately, if one only shares the good, it may seem like he thinks he is perfect (or at least wants others to think he is perfect).

Well I am far from perfect. The majority of the time I am really good at my job… but nobody’s perfect.

Whenever one of these less than perfect moments occurs, I turn to my teaching assistant and say, “Well this one sure isn’t going into the time capsule”.

This week I had a “not worthy of the time capsule” moment.

A few minutes before class started, I was hanging out and chatting with my students. We heard a bellowing shout from the hall. A deep loud voice said, “These kids are all here to learn, what are you here to do?”

Ooooh somebody was in trouble.

I wondered who it was.

Within seconds, Xavier strolled into my classroom. (Don’t worry, that name is made up.)

I quietly asked him, “Was that you?”

Xavier nodded sheepishly. I knew he was upset, so I calmly started to process the situation with him. Xavier has some sever emotional needs and requires as much help as possible dealing with these types of situations.

This sounds really nice. Unfortunately, I made a fatal mistake. I forgot other kids were around. Being a teenage boy, Xavier couldn’t show real emotion in front of his peers. The only emotion a teenage boy thinks he can show is… anger. So Xavier got angry.

It is probably more accurate to say Xavier acted angry. He was really sad that he had let himself down… but he had to hide that under anger.

Hulk is teenage boy! Rage is far more acceptable than actual sadness or shame!
Hulk smash real emotions!

Xavier went from calmly processing to shouting insults about the teacher who had redirected him. Even though the insults were rather mild, I clearly could not let that behavior continue.

I saw what appeared to be a perfect “teachable moment”. I would teach Xavier that it is not right to insult people behind their back.

So I said, “Xavier, I can’t let you trash someone behind their back. Would you like to go say this to his face?”

Brilliant!

Xavier would see the error of his ways. He would say, “Golly Mister. I sure don’t want to do that. Thanks for helping me to see the error of my ways. You’re swell!”

Then he would give me an apple.

Golly. I never thought of it that way. Thanks! You're the best!

Wrong!

This was the second time I forgot that other kids were around. Of course he couldn’t back down and admit he had made a mistake. Admitting you are wrong in front of other teenagers may be a fate worse than death.

I received no apple.

Instead, Xavier said “Let’s go find him.”

Curses!

Because I had to get Xavier away from his audience, I motioned to my teaching assistant to supervise the other students and escorted Xavier out of the room.

Once in the hall, I began to reason with Xavier… but he was too far gone.

If I did bring him to this teacher, he would end up suspended for sure. I tried every trick in my bag to help calm him down. Each one failed. At this point, Xavier wanted to be suspended. That is the absolute last thing he needed. Xavier needs to be in school as much as possible.

Xavier wasn’t thinking straight. As the adult, it was time for me to do that for him.

I quickly thought of anything I could to keep him out of the doomed situation. I needed to buy some time for him to breathe and think straight.

I said, “I know you want to get suspended. Why don’t we just skip the unpleasant step of talking to that teacher and go straight to the dean. We can just ask that she suspend you.”

It worked! He thought this was a good idea. This would buy me the time I needed to get an expert in on the case.

While Xavier sat waiting for his dean… and his suspension. I went and found his social worker.

I'm gonna get suspended.

When the social worker and I returned, I explained to Xavier what I was trying to do. I explained that I was really trying to help Xavier through this “teachable moment”.

I also apologized. He was wrong to disrespect that other teacher, but I was wrong to deal with it in front of his friends. I explained what I could have done differently. I ensured him that if this happened again, I would speak to him in private. Then I let the expert take over.

Later that day Xavier apologized to the other teacher and to me. He even explained what he could have done differently.

… and he brought me an apple.

No he didn’t!!!!

I don’t even like apples! (But I did like his apology)

Anyone else willing to share a "that's not going in the time capsule" moment?

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