In the morning @azurejasper is having an operation.

He came to your attention when he asked you to support me.

He has carried us all until breaking point, literally.

He has delayed having a hernia repair for months. He couldn't factor it in with the responsibility of caring for a sick wife and children.

As the months passed I watched it take it's toll on him. I know it isn't a serious condition, and so does he. This knowledge however has allowed him to put his needs last, day after day.

He guards it when he walks to work. Carries it through his day, and sits in a way that never looks like rest.

Months have passed. He mentioned it now and then, but otherwise wore it.

This became a heavy garb.

When Papa P referenced our burdens he used a phrase along the lines of, These are the kind of things that can break a family.

A family is a team.
It only wins if you all make it across the line.

Our captain is weary.

His responsibility and burden represented literally by busting his gut for us.

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Many people have been utilising #gratefulvibes.

I have been lucky to have been engaged in fulfilling steemit initiatives over the past year.

This has been a possibility because @azurejasper has worked everyday to give me as much time as I need to find my balance.

He has done so with the full knowledge that I may never go back to my career.

We met at teenagers.
He worked when I went to university and then paid my student debt.

He is a father 100% of the time.

Something I only learned that fathers do, from him.

But he has forgotten that taking care of himself is caring for them.

When you forget what you are working so hard for, work becomes a terrible burden.

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I have shared before my Ornithophobia.
I have a phobia of birds.

My husband, in spite of marrying a nurse, is terrified of hospitals.

He has struggled with terrible panic attacks since I pushed him 3 weeks ago to finally make the booking.

I want next year to be his year.

A good year for all of us.
For the struggles of this year to pay off.

To start the new year with fresh goals for us to work towards together.

To remember that the daily toil is for a reason.

Because we care for each other and our children.

During difficult times it is easy for life to become an endless string of tasks and responsibility.

These are not the things that great memories are founded on.

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I know he feels like he is not important to me.

Like I don't understand how much he is struggling and how much he is hurting.

I do.

We both feel guilty of not doing enough to make it through this year.
That guilt breeds hostility.

It is nearly 1am. I am keeping vigil over him as he has finally fallen asleep.

We tend to take turns at being insomniacs at the moment.

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Please join me over the next few days in supporting the man who rallied all of you when I needed support.

I wish I had more fuel in the tank to show how much I care. My fatigue and it's hideous companion irritability sometimes prevent this care from manifesting itself as evidence of my love.

I love you

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your girl.