Farm Parkour
A Survey Of A Rural Environment Activity
Last night was a full moon. I wasn't really aware that yesterday was that blessed celestial event, as it was Memorial Day and I spent it weedeating, BBQing for my loved ones, and helping my daughter to get ready for the great puppy retrieval road trip that was about to commence. It was around six PM when I went out to check the horse's water that I knew something was up.
As I was walking to the trough, my usually sedate elderly Arabian mare suddenly screamed out a whinny and proceeded to run straight through our electric rope fence. Not to be outdone, my daughter's Paint mare reared up towards the sky, striking like Black Beauty on steroids, and tore over towards my old mare. A kicking and screaming fest commenced, and thankfully, when the dust settled everyone else had too, without injury.
I shook my head, checked on my loopy lady horses, and wandered back to the house to watch The Last Jedi with my peeps. Later, before bed I got one of my feelings and decided to go back out to check on the mares. The moon was casting its glow upon my place like a subtle glare of a not so neon light. I noticed there was a slight breeze on the air and an even more pronounced silence. Not a cricket was chirping. There was also the scent of Death wafting through my nostrils, a grotesque odor drifting in from the southwest.
I walked out to the pasture, whistling my special whistle that my girls both know. Not even a nicker in response was uttered. This concerned me a bit, so much so that I decided to go out into the north pasture and look around. Normally that operation is a matter of going through one of two gates. I decided to go through the garden gate as I got shocked by the electric fence protected gate the other day, and just wasn't feeling like any amperage inducing scenarios at that moment. The garden gate, like many of our other gates has an added layer of security that a lot of other farm means of ingress and egress have, a baling twine secure tie. The only thing was, it was dark and my dratted children had tied it last, which of course meant it was all a mess. Concerned about the horses and not wanting to mess around with knotted twine, I did what I normally do when I am in a hurry and jumped it.
In my concern, I forgot something. The top rail of my garden gate is just resting on the cross member pieces, as it came unattached a couple of years ago and we have yet to fix it. As I vaulted to the top of the gate in preparation to leap off the top to the ground I remembered this fact as the board gave and my leg smashed on top of a cross piece. Being a bit of acrobatic hobbit, I immediately tucked into a ball and rolled across the ground and onto my feet. I also might have uttered some words as blue as last night's moon. It was as I was hopping around trying to regain some feeling in my left shin bone that I heard an inquiring neigh, the girls had heard and chose to respond to my yowling and came running.
Now, it was late and I sometimes have a lazy streak that appears after busting my hump on the farm all day. I could have went and gotten a couple of lead lines, haltered the horses, and led them to the secure pen that I decided they needed to spend the night in. I decided to go all Dances With Horses instead. I walked up to Gemma, my daughter's big black and white paint mare and stroked her nose. She was all uncharacteristically nervous and blowing, and I softly whispered, "follow me big girl."
Off through the big gate I bolted, Gemma and Angel trotting behind me in my wake. For a moment as I ran gazelle-like down the road, with a couple of horses in my company, I got this weird sort of mystical feeling. I mean, it's not every night that you run in the moonlight with thousand pound completely wound creatures. I found myself giggling as I trotted through the gate with my friends and closed them in for the night. I was so pleased that they were being such good babies that I gave them some extra grain.
Horses put to bed, the moment of celestial magic was over and I was suddenly aware of an acute pain in my left shin bone. In all honesty, I am kind of proud of my farm parkour goose egg, the resulting bruise will match the one on my right shin in exactly the same place. I got that one jumping out of the tractor bucket with a block of concrete the other day. Things were dropped. Many a day my husband will utter the phrase, "You are not allowed to leave the house." in exasperation as I tend to injure myself in the most odd of farm chore completing ways. I am thinking perhaps I just need to start my own Dtube channel and at least get paid for the inevitable pain, as I have been doing this sort of thing my entire life. Being 50 shades of purple and blue has got to be useful for something, right?
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LOL I think you should start your ownDrube Chanel , it would be nice to see experience as sort of being live in action :D
Ps- Beauitful horse 🐎
Ha ha! The world might not be ready for the Daily Adventures Of Kat and Crew, LOL! I am thinking about it though, there is always some random weirdness going on round here:)
Awe, and thank you for the horse compliment, I wanted to BBQ that particular horse this morning as she decided to pull some run through the fence shenanigans, so a reminder of her cuteness was nice!
Hope you have a great weekend!
Ha haa, hate to laugh at some of your misfortune, but the rest is classic b'K storytelling. I can just picture you, in a dark and creepy scene such as viewed in a horror version of Game of Thrones.
Jogging down the lane in the moonlit dark, odd little night-creature's skittering about with eyes glowing green, yellow or red in the bushes beyond the road fence, huge dark steeds thundering behind you with eyes wide as dinner plates, peering out the sides with furtive, nervous glances to the trees beyond and other, certain mayhem to the right, nostrils flared from all this intense activity, plumes of lovely, steamy horse-breath blasting out into the moonlight from those rubbery nostrils in graying plumes, GK doing her best to stay ahead of the herkin' behemoth's galloping behind...suddenly, a wicked, piercing scream rings out in the dark, beyond the hedge, turning your blood to ice water, followed by another, more familiar voice from the front-left of the property, "I thought I told you, you're not allowed to leave the house." You quicken your pace, and hear different, quieter footsteps padding up fast from behind the horses, then past the horses, right behind you....
Taken from Games On The Throne. , North Idaho Version 3.1, Season 8, Episode 3, aptly titled 158 Shades of Yellow and Purple. May not win any awards, besides a nice Christmas card from your doctor for all the visits, and short thank you for the new Porsche 911, but I can dream, can't I?
Speaking of dreaming, glad you only bonked yourself falling off the fence, and didn't knock yourself out. Must have really hurt. Though very smooth move on the roll, and to only do minor damage to your person. Were you a gymnast in your younger years? Can't remember that bit of info about GK historionics. I know there was B ball and V ball. Never heard about any tumbling.
I'm only guessing, but maybe a cougar was about in the area. Especially if the funky, sickening-odd smell of something dead is wafting about.
My boss used to bring his dog with him to the field now and then, and it would run all around half the day out of sight in the woods, being a total dog and loving every second of it. One day, it wouldn't leave our side, and pretty much walked under and around his legs most of the time. We figured we were being stalked 'en-stealth', and the dog knew he couldn't outrun the cougar, but COULD outrun all of us. That would be my guess anyways. You know more about horses than I ever will though. Maybe just a full moon got them all jazzed up. I've been known to run into things at night myself, but it's usually due to a LACK of moon, not a full one.
Hope your leg has gotten better. I can sure relate. "What are all the cuts and bruises from?" Oh, I don't know, life around the homestead of a klutz." Sigh.
Hope your day is going peachy and well.
dd, you seriously need your own channel. I don't know what kind of channel, perhaps a hybrid of written, spoken-word, and film. It could be called dd-licious or schteinn-time, or something better. I got anxiety just reading that recap of my night, and it was in a good way, LOL
My show could be called Game of Bones. Ha ha! I have been nursing a broken pinkie finger for the last couple of weeks, I really should set the darn thing and splint it, but it's only fractured and honestly more of an inconvenience at this point as it really bothers me when I am weeding. Dratted thing. I busted it playing volleyball I think, there really are so many choices as to when I actually injure something.
My madre was a gymnast and a cheerleader, but alas, they did not have those sports options in the Northern Alaskan latitudes where I dwelt. However, I have always been a bit of a flexible Kat, able to do the splits both ways and randomly breaking out a front flip or something for fun. Thanks mom!
We do have a cougar that has a four year migration rotation through our farm. One year he took a baby goat offering. I did not like it. Haven't seen him for awhile, wonder if he's back in the area, it's probably been about four years since last time. I'd rather deal with bears and wolves than a mountain lion. Egads, I have a tale about being chased by one when I was young. Think I will share it, thanks dd for the brain remembrance reminder, you are so circular, and by that I mean awesome!
Well, I have to run, today is my Saturday to run the 'brare, and then it is game night! I love game night, probably more for the socializing than the actual game play, hope you are doing something fantabulous, like biking through twenty-two intersections adorned with randomly cast off shoes and Christmas trees:D!
Later-on my domestic abode cookware extraordinaire!!!
Ha haaa, my own channel. That sounds like fun. I love your name ideas. I can only imagine how few people would want to hear the Schteinnmon babbling away about stories and other oddities and such in person. Then again, odder things HAVE happened in the world ( :
Though I do admit, I love hearing @dswigle and @old-guy-photos discussions. They really crack me up. Maybe we can start the Generischteinn school of gooder learning on Steemit. Yowza, I hear Academy Awards bells ringing away as I type.
I'm sorry to hear of your finger. I know how much that hurts. Used to have fingers taped together all the time in Basketball. One year the coach threw the ball at me, and dislocated my pinky finger. It was bizarre. Then the player on the team with the shortest deck of cards drive me to the hospital, and about killed us getting there in his sports car. "Slow down dude, it's only my finger, don't wipe us both out in the meantime." A real adventure. Still is a little crooked...guess it matches the rest of me ( :
As for the splits, I wouldn't even try, it would be a one-way trip. And for cougars, I am going to your other post, to FINALLY catch up with that. I needed to let my vote power batteries re-charge. Takes so long. I sure wish I was a bigger fish, it's so nice to give out higher votes. But it gets 'gone' so fast. Sigh and complain, complain and sigh. I'll see you on the post flip flop soon over in cougarville.
TTFN, The Pan of Royal Flatness
I feel your pain, Kat. I usually have a bruise or two going from sparring. The top of my shin is almost permanently blue. I am glad you survived your moonlight parkour in the horse pen and still smelling fresh like a daisy ... if you get my drift. What do you think was up ... a cougar or a bear, maybe?
I still think it is the coolest that you spar like a Kung Fu rockstar!
The death smell is still wafting a bit out in the woods beyond my barn, I am wondering if the coyotes or our randomly appearing cougar (4 year wandering rotation) got something and what's left is Earth percolating. The Circle of Life has some unpleasant smells at time for sure!
Hope that shin of yours is feeling fine and ready for battle today:)
Thanks, Kat. My shin has healed but Sunday is coming up. I should clarify that it is Karate and not kung fu giving my bruises. Still very new to the kung fu. They won't let me spar yet:)
You have horses are very nice, a bad time but I understand that maybe that moon had an effect on the horses that made it act that way
Thank you:) Yep, horses tend to get weird around the full moon, and then we had wind and the smell of death thrown into the mix, it was a recipe for strangeness!
Maybe when the moon is full you should just stay in bed.
HA! Best advice I have read all day! It's going to be observed, I am trashed right now, LOL! Hope you have recovered from your work marathon?
I hope your shin is feeling better, on the plus side I laughed like hell so your fall wasn't in vain.
Next time cut that baler twine, plenty more where that came from. My fence hopping days are way behind me, not that they lasted that long anyway.
Oh, am I ever happy that my moment of leg doom brought joy to someone! Perhaps I should run out and bust my flintlocks on something else;o)
Advice heeded btw, it's not like baling twine is in short supply around here, just like my apparent laziness, heh.
And someday perhaps you will tell me of your fence hopping days....
Were you with a circus troupe becfore you became a homesteader? At least you rolled into a bal instead of planting your face in the ground. The girls were so nice to watch over you as you recovered from your high jump.
Maybe your husband is right. You can’t be left alone for all of the trouble you get into. You are a crazy horse woman! 🐓🐓
Well, I was pretty feral when I was a kid. Lots of times you could find me out in the middle of my Papa's herd of horses and cows, or running through the woods in Alaska all filthy and scratched up. I am a lot more boring these days, but once in a while the old me will flip out and roll across the ground. lol!
The only thing that I don't like is that it takes a bit longer to recover these days, ugh.
I promise I won't get into too much mischief this weekend, I have to run the library :D Hope you are having a lovely day my friend!
I really liked the image of running and having them follow you. Good story!
Ha ha! Thanks! It was actually quite a bit of fun:)
Wondered what had the girls spooked? I had a Tennessee Walking Horse and a pygmy goat that were inseparable. Once the goat managed to magically get out as pygmy goats are known to do. Of coarse horse had to follow...through the electric fence. TBH with all of the money I used to spend on horses, feed, vet bills, fencing....I could of bought me a pretty nice new Mastercraft ski boat! Oh the fun of that equine lifestyle! Heal soon, Kat!
Ha ha! It sounds like you have had plenty of experience with the never ending money black hole that is horse ownership. More like they own you, and somedays I really would enjoy the boat more. However, as I have an uncle that is a fisherman, I know just how much money can be sucked into that floating vortex of fun too, LOL!
And I recall looking at a picture of your TWH friend, nice pony:o) Can't believe how attached other animals can get to goats, and I bet that was a sight, a giant Tennessee Walker and his pygmy goat buddy, excellent:o)
Hope you are having an excellent Market Friday, and an even more amazing weekend!!!
Great experience in rural environment... I think, you enjoy it and experiment was effective..Well writing skills @generikat
Thank you Prince!