Hobby Hopping and Content Creation Blues.

in life •  last month

Lately I just flat out have not felt myself.

Rather than talk in terms of my perception of what "I used to be", what "used to" make me happy or how differently or perhaps "better" I was, I would like to focus on the present.

RIGHT NOW, what "Sparks Joy" in my life? Currently, all my motivation comes from my son, the largest spark of joy in my life. My day-to-day motivation is to provide a better life for him, spend more time with him, and be more comfortable in my life so I can dedicate more to him.

But... what about me? Outside of that biological need to provide for the offspring, what keeps us going? Right now, for me, that answer is hard to come by.

sparkjoy.jpg

I used to know, lately it has been harder to figure out. And the mere fact of having to think about what brings joy is exausting in and of itself, further use and metabolising of calories simply to give consideration is seemingly counter-productive.

Paralysis by Analysis

Hobby hopping - Cryptocurrency used to be it - The Detroit Lions (American Football) used to be it - An online game modeled after "Risk" used to be it.

The thing is, these were never sparks of joy or passion ... they were distractions. Fact is, reality sucks. It sucks having to get up early. It sucks having to work hard. It sucks having to be on top of everything all the time. It is so difficult to climb yet so easy to fall.

Looking back 10 years ago I would not be content with my current place in life. That leaves a question to me: what would I say about myself 10 years from now? In movies and stories that mention time travel, an empathis is put on not changing anything because it would have drastic effects on the present. Why don't we apply that to now? We loath the procrastination we have participated in but are willing participants in it's use currently.

For me, I have to constantly remind myself of my goals: Lifelong goals to daily goals and everything inbetween.

What have you done today to get you to that peak? Are you climbing or falling?

movingforward.jpg

I do not have the answers. I will keep looking, though.

What are your motivations, either daily or long-term?

What "Sparks Joy" for you?

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In seriousness I was upset that someone you stick up for mocked someone with cancer.

In seriousness I responded with spamming your popcorn account because thats what someone you stick up for does.

In seriousness I was put on mackbot downvote for doing what your friend does.

I get it. I dont have the sp.

But I hoped good would overcome that.

I used to think you were a good guy.

Maybe I am burned out from people like you pretending to care about anything other than their wallet.

Yeah. Maybe.

Then come and mock me when I am expressing a mental health concern...

K. Thanks for proving who you are....again.

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You spammed my post with something that had nothing to do with me and @fulltimegeek upvoted it. I have no control of Mack-bot it is not my project.

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That is a fair point.

In hindsight I do apologize for spamming. (Edit specifically on your post because at that point you and I had not crossed paths).

That being said you support a dishonorable person that mocks people with cancer, encourages people with PTSD to kill themselves and pushes people away that used to support this platform.

I sleep like a fucking baby at night because I am someone my son can respect.

I wish that for you as well someday.

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Did I upvote any of those things he said? Did I go around spamming it in people's posts?

How do you feel I support those things outside of me running a selfless curation project with him?

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Fair points. That gives me some thoughts to consider. Thanks for your time.

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Hur hur hur