The life of Carl

Here I’d like to introduce you to Carl. A project commissioned by Penguin Random House in association with Dutton books and the author of “An Absolutely Remarkable Thing” Hank green. This post isn’t about the story or the character of Carl in his whole sense and glory, it’s about me birthing a giant sculpture out of my poverty shop. Think of a Chihuahua giving birth to a Great Dane puppy.

His creation starts with plans that end up evolving in to shit that made me question the feasibility of any of this coming to fruition. Really, I had NO confidence in this daunting task.

The part that was difficult to finalize was how he would be assembled, while it WAS possible to create him as one giant piece of raw aluminum greatness, there was no way in hell I’d be to move him around in order to weld and sand him. Alas, it was decided that he would be created in sections. The head, Torso, and Legs. However this came with its own problems. Now I had to figure out a way to structurally stabilize him so he wouldn’t topple over. Now this is where it got tricky, my bro @motoengineer the school learned civil engineer, said I needed to worry about people pushing on it and it toppling over, while I whole heartedly agree with this cautions, I also felt that the 10 years I been working as a welder in shops with various projects and such, that what I designed would be safe enough. Emphasis on “Enough” his idea revolved around very complex pipes and tubes and pieces of such intricacies that I had several migraines trying to figure out their purposes. This is probably why college wasn’t for me. Now without all that arcane knowledge granted by the institution of school. I had to go with my acquired knowledge of on the field gut instincts. And so, I hark back to experiences of my second job, WOOD. I remember wood in all its basic uses is sound and strong, and so, along with geometry (the only thing I can really understand) I decided to ditch arcane knowledge and go with gut instinct.

And so with everything finalized it was ready to have Carl laser cut to exact dimensions. The shop was kind enough to lend me their cart in order to transport him 3 blocks to my garage. It was the loudest and worst 3 blocks I ever had to push. The cart was vibrating itself to death and any dirt that was stuck on it from the shop was shaken off during the transport, I had to make 2 arduous trips.

As you can see from the can of spray paint, it’s hard to imagine the sheer size of Carl from the plans until you see it in real life compared to something else.

A quick mock set up shows me the daunting task at hand and how I might have made the biggest mistake of my life, thinking that I could handle this by myself. I went home and sat in the corner near catatonic at the thought of the impending disaster.

The first task was to pre-sand all the aluminum, this took 2 days simply because the monotony of the task drove me insane, no amount of drugs was helping to alleviate the tedious and repetitive task. After 2 days and countless sheets of PSA sand paper the pre-sand was completed. The next task was to lay out the internal frames that would be supporting Carl once he was upright.

This process was relatively painless and straight forward. The central column goes right though his legs and partly into his torso. They are reinforced by two cross bars that keep his legs form splitting open due to the downward pressure of the torso. The torso is also reinforced by a box frame structure that keep sit from warping around. Let’s face it, Carl is made of giant sheets of 1/8” aluminum. Even welded he’s still hollow and not as stiff as he should be, that’s why he has the internal frame support. The next step is to weld everything up.

TIG welding, or Heli-ARC for the older folks (though it’s a very incorrect term cuz nowadays you have the option of inert Argon OR Helium to choose from) was the prime choice for this task, also cuz it was the ONLY choice I had for this task. The place that as to be welded was beveled out using a Chicago Pneumatic Die Grinder with a bur bit. The aluminum shrapnel that came out from it was atrociously sharp. I looked and felt like I had been attacked by a junk yard porcupine.

After the welds were complete, the next herculean task was to use and angle grinder to smooth out the welds. This was the tasks of tasks. My sanity was never tested so much as it was at that point, by the end of the 2 days it took to sand everything I was once again in the corner catatonic, covered in aluminum dust.

Carl is stabilized by a 5’ diameter 2” thick wooden base, created by IG: @vinnysoddjobs and a central wooden column. Originally it was supposed to be a simple triangle but after much thought I realized it probably wouldn’t be robust enough to keep Carl straight. Everything is screwed and held together by drywall screws. Simple and basic is the easiest approach to a non-complicated situation. Plus, it’s very cost effective.

The designers and commissioners of Carl wanted him to stand out a bit more so he didn’t look like one giant uniform metal box, so they wanted to add in some designs on Carl’s front side. They initially wanted an acid etched pattern, but there was no way I could grant them that wish even if I wanted to so I offered them a patinated finish. In lamens terms, I used a blackening chemical to make the aluminum black. To do this I first had to tape off the agreed on design, then came the patination process. Which was basically wax on wax off, run to the bathroom screaming as the chemicals ate into my eyes, rinse and repeat.

Now that the pieces have been welded, and finish sanded, patinated, test fitted, etc, he was ready to be wrapped up and shipped out this was bitter sweet. My child whom I built up from nothing, put together with my own hands, my child who I bled for, cried for, got addicted to drugs for… was finally ready to flee the coup.

I lovingly packed him up in his crate, after bandaging my fingers up cuz I missed with the hammer several times, he was ready to be displayed to the world.

Here he was displayed to the world for all to see, at the Jacob Javitz Center in NYC. The rug he was displayed on was gigantic. However the little circular cutout was a gift to me and I cherish it, once I remember where it is that I put it…

The story is over, but Carl will live forever in the office spaces of Penguin Random house. I have no idea if he’ll have publics access or not, though if I find out I will be sure to let you guys know here.

Somethings I wish you were about see, and somethings I wish I was able to record. The process of me in turmoil trying to get the rug back home, me trying to bring the pieces back the garage without spilling them onto the ground. The chaotic mess of papers that were the plans to his structural stability, me going into a gentle insanity, and me recovering into relief and happiness. Would I do this again? Sure, but with something much smaller 10’ tall was just ridiculous. Goodbye Carl, live long and prosper.