Struggling lately

I look at other people and I wonder how they are surviving against the many things that they have to cover with their paycheck. This week has been especially difficult for me. I’ve run into issues with paying my taxes, since my main job (In IT at a university) didn’t put back enough money for my taxes. I owe about $900 in total in taxes alone, and then I have to pay my tax person which is $350.

Last year I took a big step, and maybe it was too early for me, but I’m 23 and it shouldn’t have been too early - I moved out into an apartment with my girlfriend. I make about $2300 a month, with both jobs combined, which might sound like a pretty decent amount to survive off of right? Here’s where that doesn’t hold up... rent is $755; electric is about $130, food is about $150; internet is $50; car payment is $172; car insurance is $260, school loans paymen is $150; phone bill is $50; gas is $100, unity pro is $35. All together that’s $1852. That leaves me with about 448 to spend on anything extra. That would be great if I wasn’t in debt from buying furniture in the beginning, which keeps acruing, and now also owe the IRS and my tax person.

So basically I need to come up with $350 which leaves me with about $100 spending money, and then on top of that, I need to use the remainder to make payments towards taxes. I’m working my ass off with two decent paying jobs. And I’m really struggling to make it. I feel like I should be able to do things with how hard I work, but my girlfriend and I are stuck at home, and we’re not able to do much of anything because it seems like I owe everyone something, and I’m not really seeing the reason or the benifit from it. Sure the apartment is a benifit, and the electric, but what the hell are my taxes going to? Louisville Kentucky is a pretty ugly city in my opinion, and it definitely isn’t keeping up or using that tax money. My car insurance is outrageous, and I know it’s because I’m a guy and I’m 23, but I’m generally a safe driver, and I’ve looked at other insurances, and they’re also outrageous. My phone is $50 a month, but does anyone not see the problem with that? My internet is $50 for unlimited data, but my phone is $50 for just 10 gb!

I wonder how other people make it on low incomes. Do they just not have as many bills as I do? How do they not have as much? How did people survive in the 50’s with a full family on one minimum wage income? I can’t wrap my mind around it, and I just wonder if I’m doing something wrong, but I can’t even tell what that could. I make so much but I can save so little. Where will I be in my future? I could be a famous game developer or a broke dude living in an apartment still struggling to survive, having to constantly cut down on his lifestyle. Hell, most of my clothes have holes in them. I come from a poor family, but don’t tell me I’m always going yo be poor no matter how hard I work. I’m getting screwed here, and I wish there was some light at the end of the tunnel, but I don’t see that light. I’m just lucky that I have my mom and especially my girlfriend to help me stay sane, because I don’t really know if I’m going to be rewarded for all of my hard work, and I don’t mean to sound entitled, but I don’t think I should be struggling right now, all things considered. Most of all, I want to do good for my girlfriend Brandi. She’s a great girl all around, and she deserves the world. We want to get married and have kids at some point, and that’s not possible right now, and zi hate that. I don’t know when it could be possible either. This is not how I saw my life turning out, and this is not where I want to be next year. Maybe I’ll look back on this post next year and see how far I’ve come.

Well, wish me luck.