Strip Clubs And Porn!... What’s The Big Deal?
Despite what you may think, the title of this post is a serious question. If there are some men out there who love porn and strip clubs, and may happen to read this post, please feel free to enlighten me. And if there are any female readers of this post who have men in their lives who like this stuff, or if you actually dig it yourself... Again, please enlighten me. I know that I am a huge exception to the rule, but I just don’t get the whole fascination with porn and strip clubs. These days, strip clubs in particular, are featured in just about every action movie that is made. It literally seems to be an obsession with a lot of men.
I am a heterosexual male who has always loved sex and all that comes with it, whether in the context of a steady relationship or not. From all of the statistics I’ve read, I believe that I have had an extraordinarily high amount of sexual encounters with women, especially given the fact that I have never worked in the ‘sex industry’ in any capacity. Like all attractive people, my 20’s and 30’s were filled with a myriad of sexual experiences. After a few decades, and more than a thousand sexual encounters with a few hundred females, (a lot of which I now regret and wish that I could somehow magically undo) suffice it to say... I am experienced and well-versed in the act of having actual, real sex.
No Substitute For The Real Thing
When I was 14 or 15 years old, like all young males, I was curious about certain things that seemed to be exciting and taboo. Two of those things that I couldn’t resist trying were magazine porn and smoking cigarettes.
My father and my older sister (who was around 21 years old at the time) smoked, so I guess I thought it would be ‘cool’ to smoke like them. Very quickly, I learned that I didn’t like the feeling of light-headedness that came along with it. Also, I hated the fact that the smoke smell stayed in your clothing, and in everything within a 15-foot radius of where you happened to be smoking. That made it very difficult to sneak a smoke when my mom wasn’t home and to go undetected. All in all, I guess that smoking cigarettes was just ‘not for me.’
My first encounter with porn magazines was kind of a fluke. I was at school one day and an older male acquaintance of mine, a 17-year-old senior, was cleaning out his locker because he was moving away. He looked at me and yelled, ‘Here. You can have this.’ He threw a Playboy magazine at me. I knew it was one that he kept at school to show to other kids to impress them, but I had never seen the inside of it. I tucked it into my book bag and left it there until I got home. Later that evening, I took it out and began to peruse the pages, just getting ‘the lay of the land.’ I quickly became highly infatuated with the unobscured and uninhibited view of female breasts and vagina. Of course, I masturbated more than a few times, while viewing these images. But after a few months of looking at the same still images, the overwhelming thought I came away with was, ‘It’s not really a big deal.’ I was anxious to try it out with a real live female.
The first time I got a chance to have sex in a relaxed environment, with plenty of time to go through and complete the process in full, was in the back seat of my first car, when I was 19 years old. It felt amazing to be inside of an actual female. It was warm and so uniquely spiritual that, like most virgins, it would make a lifetime impression on me. From that night on, I knew that I would never go back to (and would never be satisfied with) just looking at nude images of women. And since that day, I have never owned a pornographic magazine of any kind, and have never logged into a porn website.
Look, But Don’t Touch
I have only had two experiences with strip clubs. And while both experiences shed some light on the concept, neither experience clarified or fully explained the obsession that some men have with them.
My first visit to a strip club was in the early 1990’s. I went with an obese friend of mine who was not very attractive. He would usually go by himself and he would call me the next day and have all of these amazing stories of what great bodies the strippers had. He would also tell me how he believed that various ones of the females really liked him. And yes, it would have been really simple to dismiss his enthusiasm and just conclude that he was just another desperate fool. But I began to wonder what he was getting out of his ‘arrangement’ with the strip club women, so I agreed to go out to the strip club (what he called ‘the club’) with him. One of the things I noticed immediately, was that the DJ on duty was very skilled, and the music was top notch. I also immediately noticed that the DJ, who I thought must have had some form of A.D.D., would change the song about every minute-and-a-half. Just as I would really start to groove to the track and get into the vibe, he would change the track to a whole different vibe and I would have to reset. I wondered why. Naïve, right? At that point, I had several years of sexual activity under my belt, so I didn’t quite understand why it was a big deal to watch random women dance around while taking their tops off. Every time the music changed, a new girl would come out on stage and all the men would toss $1 and $5 bills up on the stage, and a few would stuff the larger bills into the girls’ g strings. Huh? I let my friend know that I didn’t quite understand, and that is when he introduced me to the concept of the ‘private dance.’ This was another level of the game. And according to him, it was ‘the reason’ to be there. A few minutes later, one of the regular dancers at the club came over to my friend and solicited him for a ‘private dance.’ She led him to a room in the back with no door. I would peek through the door periodically, just to see what was going on. The ‘private dance’ was a little more intimate. The dancer was actually caressing and fondling my friend, and rubbing her breasts directly in his face. At one point, I looked into the room and observed that my friend had a look of absolute euphoria on his face. It seemed as if in his mind, he was actually having real sex. But of course, he wasn’t. Every minute or so when the music would change, my friend would hand the stripper another bill. I later found out that the charge for a private dance was $20 per song. My friend’s ‘private dance’ only lasted about ten minutes. But at the end of the night, he had spent a whopping total of about $350. In my mind, it was all just a big, expensive tease. Needless to say, I concluded that this activity was also just ‘not for me.’
In the early 2000’s, I got into a sexual friendship with a stripper who had moved into the townhouse next door to mine. She would often tell me stories about different things that happened at the three strip clubs where she worked. She told me that many of the women that worked at these places would meet men after the work night was over and have sex, either for the right amount of money, or simply because they liked the man. I became very curious about that and wanted to know if it was true. So, one night on the way home from a regular dance club where I used to hang out with another friend, I stopped at a strip club that was near my house. I started up a conversation with a beautiful, racially mixed stripper, who seemed to be relatively new at the stripping game. But nonetheless, a very popular choice for the regulars there at the strip club. I eventually invited her to go have a meal with me after the place closed. After putting me through a verbal ‘security check,’ she accepted, although with a slight bit of uneasiness. We spent about an hour together eating and talking, and then it happened. She invited me to come to her place and I accepted. When we got there, she put some music on and took a shower. And then we engaged in some of the best sex I had ever had, up to that point. What I took away from that experience was; Yes. It was nice, but it seemed to be no different than meeting a chick at the store, or on a break at work, or in a million other random ways. I concluded that the strip club thing was not for me, so that was my second (and my last) visit to a strip club.
And I Still Don’t Get It, To This Day
You may be thinking to yourself that the reason I don’t dig this stuff is simply because I seem to have been very successful with attracting women to have actual sex with. But this could not be the sole reason. Over the years, I have known other men who have been just as successful, or even more successful at attracting women, who kept their own ‘stash’ of porn magazines, excitedly accessed porn on the internet, or marveled at nudie pics on their phones. I have also known men who have been in long term relationships, who still regularly enjoyed going out to the strip club.
There must be some benefits (or at least, some valid reasons) why so many millions of people do partake in these activities. As someone who doesn’t view porn and doesn’t go to strip clubs, (and have no desire to) I’m absolutely sure that I am just missing the point. What is the big deal? I just don’t get it!
My goal as a child of the universe, is to inspire and spread love. If you like this post, please come back and view more of my content. Love and Peace to you. Thank you.