Sometimes when I need to vent the only way to do that is writing it down and there is probably no better place than on Steem.
Some people are lucky enough to live long lives but inevitably we all pass on to the next life or whatever depending on what you believe in. There is a reason why people innately fear death. It is the unexpected outcome. It is the possibility of pain. It is the regret of not doing or achieving something in your life.
I had the fortunate misfortune of spending the whole of yesterday at my grandmother's bedside in the hospital in her last moments in this world.
The previous day I got a call from my mom telling us to come home and visit her in hospital. It was a call I had been dreading for a while now especially when I saw how weak she was over Christmas. She did not mention the severity of the situation but from her voice I could tell it was bad otherwise she would not have called. I did not even sleep at all and left early in the morning at 7 for the 2 hour journey.
The crazy thing, when I saw her in bed she looked fine. Weak but fine. She even recognised us and greeted us. We did not know that in her old age she had developed cancer which had metastasized in her lungs as well which was why she was having a tough time breathing.
I don't really want to describe her condition though because this post is not really about that.
Her body shut down right in front of us in her oldest daughters arms who was trying to comfort her. One minute she was there coughing, talking a bit, the next moment, in a flash, she was lying on her back unresponsive.
There are no words to describe the feeling standing there and not being able to do anything to change the situation. Staring at her and my mind unable to understand that she was gone.
If we had not travelled immediately we wouldn't have had the time to see each other for the last time.
She was a great, loving woman. Strong willed, a wonderful mother of 10 and grand mother of many. I will not forget her stuffing me with tea and bananas every time I visited her, treating me when I hurt myself chopping firewood for her, rubbing my belly when I had a stomach ache.
It is honestly crazy how we take some things for granted in life, but when those people are not around anymore we suddenly realized just what we have lost.
Rest in peace now, grandma. You were a massive blessing in our lives.
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