Thoughts about forgiveness

in #life6 years ago (edited)

In a way, sometimes, forgiveness seems an act that goes beyond our capacity to handle things, simply because the ability of the person to forget the past is affected by the pain that a certain act could have caused. For example, a child who for years was a victim of bullying, surely, will have great difficulty to look into the eyes of those who hurt him and never consider the possibility of giving them a second chance.

When it come to loving couples, although some of them give themselves a second chance after going through hard times, the reality is that not everything is so beautiful and therefore, there can be a shadow of distrust floating in the air. Pain is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to forget and when experiencing situations that were extremely painful, that emotional mark will remain in there so we don’t forget about it, so in the future, we can avoid similar circumstances that can affect us in a similar way.

Another reason why it is difficult to forget the past is because we might tend to hold on into it, without letting bad memories get blurred with time, kind of like an obsession about what happened in the past. We can never erase from the mind facts that are part of our life thanks to the ability to remember anything that we consider important, therefore, perhaps at some point we felt that we had forgiven a certain event, however, at specific moments in our life something may have made us remember it with all sort of details.

It is harder to forgive depending on the intensity of what happened as well as on how that particular activity affected the person. But it is also very important how the individual who was the one hurting ends up reacting, if this person really is able to show that he actually understand what happened and its consequences, then he is doing everything he can to earn the other person’s forgiveness.

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I forgive you brother!


Jokes aside, sometimes is even harder to forgive oneself!

sometimes is even harder to forgive oneself!

You are right pal, that can be the hardest thing.

It is difficult to forgive, no questions here. What you allow, will continue / repeat. I won't forgive, unless I have a positive motivation to do so like some advantages or such. Even then, I try to remember at least.

I try to remember at least.

Remembering is important so we don't commit the same mistake in the future. That is the only way to learn and become wiser, to remember the lessons that we can gain from our life and the lives of others.

I now live in a less trusting culture to the one I grew up in.

I do feel it's so important to be honest and loving with the forgiveness process and I still believe that forgiveness is "forgiving myself for believing there was anything to forgive in the first place". This only really, deeply feels like integrity when respectful boundaries can be clear and honoured.

Safety is key and some things are challenging and even traumatising, though for me to truely forgive I need to make peace with my resentments enough to feel it fully... and it sometimes takes practical action to ensure things are sustainable and thriving... without getting into ego projections games... that would be time to honestly look at and maybe forgive those. 💚

Thanks for sharing your wise words my friend!

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