365 Days That Count - Day 13 - Forgetting myself.

In all the confusion and emotional ups and downs of the last while I have forgotten that at the end of the day, the only person who will always be there, is me.

No one else will witness, feel and overcome everything with me so I have to give myself both responsibility and credit for my happiness; it is not determined by the person I’m with, it’s determined by my attitude towards life and all it’s challenges.

I have neglected myself; what grounds me, what inspires me. I have thought constantly about what makes everyone else happy, what they do or don’t do that does or doesn’t make me
happy, how I might succeed or fail at trying to fulfil their needs and wants.

I’ve stopped thinking about who I am when it’s just me. What I do to make myself happy, what I need to do to be my bravest self. Those things are on me and only me. Happiness starts from within, the person you’re with should add to it not create it.

I have to take ownership of every day. It is my responsibility to create my own joy. If I don’t write or draw or do yoga or run or walk my dogs or ride I am neglecting myself, it’s really that simple, because those are my things.

I’ve repeated this pattern for years, finding things that bring me joy or peace when I’m alone and then forgetting them as soon as I’m not. But I was much younger the last time I was alone and much older now that I’m not, so I need to break the cycle.

Yes, being with someone means taking on new things and having things that you share but it shouldn’t mean forgetting what makes the individual in you happy. We are a combination of our individual and connected selves and each side needs to be nurtured.

I believe that’s where people find lasting happiness, maintaining their own individual joy whilst being with someone else. People may play roles in your life but no one is responsible for it but you.

So that’s my lesson for today, to nurture my own happiness regardless of anyone else. To look after me even when there’s an us.

Love,

Daisy xx

( @daisyd )