You really don't fit ...
You think you fit - but you don't.
I know this because I am like you, and I have known I don't "fit" since I was a kid.
We live in an age of imperial decline. We live in the death throes of a once free republic now turned violent, despotic, narcissistic, and warmongering. If you buy into the propaganda, the lies, the narrative spun by the media, then you can "fit in" - if you refuse these lies for what they are, then you are a freak.
We go to work each day and participate in fashion contests, we share our adventures detailing the shows we watched or the crap we bought. We build our lives around barriers of "stuff", "junk", that is piled ever higher - separating us from each other. So, yeah - I definitely don't fit-in.
If you are still reading this, then you really REALLY don't fit - but that might be sign that you have a soul, and that's something worth having.
Contemporary America preaches "conformity" as if it were some value worth aspiring to, I know because I used to live within sight of one of those foci of drab human waste - the fashion mall at Keystone (Indianapolis, IN). This place is/was an altar to consumerism without thought, obedience without question.
Because these ideas occur to me, I know that I do not "fit" and I will likely never "fit".
But here's the thing ...
I don't think that I am alone, and you are not alone either.
I don't think I am the only person who drives their car to a job each morning and wonders "what actual good am I doing?", "who am I helping?", "how is the world better because of my obedience to synthetically produced norms?".
I've chosen a hard road - because I know it may end up nowhere, perhaps in the streets, homeless, cold ... maybe worse.
I've decided that I am no longer willing to simply "work to live", while ignoring the harm that my work, the taxes I pay, does around the world and in my own society. I know I will be forced to support these messed-up schemes as long as I have a "career", but I also know that I can choose, at least for now, to not be happy about it. The only rebellion left happens inside the mind.
I am insignificant, but that's not important.
I am mediocre, but that is seen through someone else's lens.
I do not care who won the "Super Bowl" OR that "March Madness" approaches. I am simply more concerned with our government, our cancerous, make-believe, "Disney Land" society, and the evil it inflicts.
I know there is nothing I can do to change any of this, and yet I still desire a different outcome - and that makes me crazy, and more of a misfit.
I don't "fit" and I don't want to - I just find it impossible to "fit".
(do you "fit"?)