My Strangest Encounters With Human Beings Part 1: Deranged Barack Obama

Because I have a very large weirdo magnet on my forehead, (and I rode the metro bus in Minneapolis for five years), I've had many, many, many, many strange encounters with human beings. Unfortunately, I have a shit memory and I only remember the most important one which was the demon I saw at White Castle (foggy), and two really recent ones. But I will not let these precious gems be lost to history.

The following takes place at Goodwill Outlet where most bizarre encounters happen:

From outside of Andy Cohen's audio book "Most Talkative," playing on my headphones I hear:
Person I've never seen or met: "You're still here?"
Me: "for now."
Person I've never seen or met who feels the need to strike up conversations with strangers at Goodwill Outlet: Something like "I bet if I asked what your story is you wouldn't tell me."
Employed my weirdo avoidance measure which politely but strongly says in body language, "I am not interested in talking to you, and don't fuck with me."
He walks over to bin and picks up empty wrapping paper roll and strikes air with it.
Says psychotically, "I wasn't going to bludgeon you with it."

Looking like a slightly deranged copy of Barack Obama, he walks around on his phone talking about guitar lessons.

If you want to see my other strangest encounters with humans, make sure you follow me. ;)