17 years ago today, my mom passed away. I really don't discuss it much but here is a glimpse of my life.
I have not talked much about most of my life on here, so today I am taking that step.
This was a picture taken around the summer of ~ 2014 beside a greenhouse locally I donated repurposed wood to so that we could contribute to my friend building one out of all upcycled and repurposed material except for the UV stabilized thick poly plastic over it. These frugal beliefs were imparted to me from my parents.
There are lots of reasons I don't really have photos of my family most of which people really don't need to know about or care much about so I will not get into them. Some people have great family and memories with them, some don't.
"Waste Not -- Want Not"
- was a key phrase drilled into my head growing up and my parents lived out those beliefs. They were farmers born in the era around ~1920 or so ballparking it for you.
I lead a VERY simple life for the most part and for many many years, really try hard to live out my beliefs daily in every area.
Some background :
In 2000, the world was about to crash and the whole Y2K bug/panic was happening and I had just broken up with a girlfriend. I decided to pack up for awhile and go to Florida. I packed some bags and my hockey equipment and headed south to the Treasure Island/MadeiraBeach/ St. Petersburg areas.
You have to drive an hour usually at least to find a rink, it is REALLY not like that in Canada LOL.
The LSS here is I lived down in Florida for awhile playing hockey, and taking a much needed break. I had a family member down there I tried to stay with and build relationship with --- but that really did not work out to say the least.
After awhile there - I received a message from my dad one day that my mom's health had worsened and she might not be around much longer.
I packed up and headed home to Canada -- and I was not back very long before my mom passed away in the hospital.
As the Real Estate Salesperson in the family, I had to help my dad get my mom's house sold, pack it all up, and watch one of my other brothers who is a real jerk -- come and hand pick a few items he wanted as the golden boy of the family, stuff them in his van and literally drive right off and not lift a finger to move anything that day and left me and my 70+ year old father to deal with the rest of the contents basically ourselves.
Over the years I had a few mom figures in my life apart from my own. This picture you can see the card I bought to take to one of them that year was made out to my friend's mom.
I really don't talk much ever about my family by and large and certainly not online so I know most people are likely not reading this far still but today I figured I would open up a bit on this topic which I am usually pretty quiet about in everyday life.
If you are still reading, thanks for that. I know there is not a lot of detail here but that's just where I am at with family issues and the like. Apart from my signature line photo in the blogs, I really don't post my own photos much either.
I've spent a lot of the last 8 years in the public spotlight with my community work and very public policy work and activism and most days I really keep the spotlight off myself and that kind of thing for various reasons.
Have a nice day. I wish everyone the best!
I just posted this about my mom and life and feel drained so I am needing a break, it was harder than I thought knowing this day was coming.
I really did not expect to write half of what I just did. If I do not get to replies right away, I hope you understand.
Writing about what is most personal to us is always a draining experience. I hope it was cathartic for you, though and that it ultimately brings some feelings of comfort to have bounced some of your innermost off of the community here. We care. Thank you so much for sharing this much of yourself. I know it can be difficult. I'm addicted to it, myself, but I really can see and appreciate on an incredibly deep level when I see someone whose personal offerings aren't freely given and aren't as easily transferred to others.
As I would say to a friend opening up to me, thank you for sharing this part of yourself with me, and I feel privileged to have been in the audience for it.
Blessings, Barry.
That's really a thoughtful and fulsome reply, it means a lot to me.
Thank you very much.
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Losing a mother leaves a great emptiness forever, no matter how many years pass, that emptiness can not be solved with other things like the affection of the friends or the bride, the affection of a mother is not compared with anything known in the world. But life continues and you have to live it as best as possible, having as a consolation that it is in a better place, where there are no wars or violations, there is no discrimination, there is no money problem, and it seems that it is better That we, in an ideal world full of happiness, surrounded by good people and enjoying a better pass.
I hope I do not offend with my words, dear friend Barry.
I want you to know that you can count on mig for what you need
With respect and affection
Luis
Man, that is beautiful brother,
Thanks for taking time to comment with your thoughts like that, it is really nice of you.
Blessings. Barry
Something time teaches us as we grow older. A mother and father are the ones you know are guiding you through life and the ones you can trust to seek information from. Most of all, the care you get from a mother is an amazing force of nature unlike no other.
The essence of your mother continues to flourish in you from the information she has given you in your life. As you being a community activist, I have a feeling your mother is a big part of that.
Thanks a lot, I really appreciate that a bunch.
Have a good day!!
Have a great day!
Thanks and to you as well.
I am really sorry not to have had anything more clever to say this morning. But I just wanted to say something and that's the only thing I found that was not too ridiculous.
Ah, I understand - do not worry about it, you took time out of your life to say something and that is what matters most
I see your votes and support on my posts so you support me all the time in that way anyways and I am glad for both.
<3 Barry. You are one of the folks I've met on the internet that gave me a great hope for the existence of good people out there. Your mother is proud of you regardless of how you feel on the matter. She brought a great man into this world.
Thanks a lot, I really appreciate that man, it means a lot coming from you.
I really do appreciate your work and support @klye
Hey, I just had a thought, I can be your sister @barrydutton!
All light hearted joking aside, I'm honoured to call you my friend. :)
LOL
I just said that to your husband on his post and you guys must be side by side with these msgs LOL
Thanks. I really appreciate you.
That's very cool. Often we are in different locations geographically through the day, so Dan just told me that the 2 of you have figured out who each other are.
It is true!!
I just released my 1 page overview of the Steemit Roadmap out earlier today despite my latest killer headache if you want to have a look.
https://steemit.com/steemit/@barrydutton/2017-steemit-roadmap-and-improvements-officially-launched-today-my-1-pg-overview-in-blue-collar-language
Thanks Barry. I just read it (your post, not the 22 page original) and uv.
I can't imagine how awful it must be losing your Mother!
https://twitter.com/Soul_Eater_43/status/821121016357339136
Thanks for the support man, you have been a good friend to me.
I was the last of many kids in my family and my parents were both quite on in their years when I showed up so I always knew I would be younger than most people who lose their parents.
I had a good run with them and certainly many many people have it worse than me and I know that.
TY for commenting my friend.
You're welcome:)
@barrydutton, cool post my friend. Hockey and Florida shouldn't be used in the same post. I have a visual of you in an outside ice rink just off the beach.
Your brother sounds like a real piece of work. Do you ever talk to your brother?
I can tell you that I will be a hot mess when my mom passes away. I don't know what to say, but that I'm sorry that your mom didn't have a longer life with your dad. Mommies should live the longest.
Steem On Dude.
I don't talk to any of my family really. Especially not him. He screwed me around again about 3 yrs ago when my dad passed too but I knew that was coming, that is who he is.
Thanks for the comments, I am glad to hear from you always!
@barrydutton, same blood doesn't mean family. I don't talk to my family outside of mom and brother. We Steem on with our Steemit family.
Very nice Barry, I can't imagine my life without my Mom around. I also didn't realize you lived in Florida, pretty cool I lived in Tampa for 3 years.
I sometimes forget you lived down there, thanks for the reminder
Yeah back then I was still drinking and partying a bit here and there and I was in line at a bar in Ybor City in Tampa one night and ran into a guy I played hockey with and ran track/X-country with at a Provincial (State level in the US) -- level in line and he was right behind me LOL.
Nice to hear from you. I thought of you and Ana today because of what just happened with you losing your grandpa recently.
Thanks for commenting. I kinda wanted to give you some insight into my life as someone I chat with about things here and there.