Sometimes I really just forget how much the world has invested in me, and by that I mean how much the people I've met, the places I've been, and the memories that I got to experience have shaped into becoming the kind of person I am today.

Hmm.. Yeah.. It's amazing just how much food it takes to feed me for a year, let alone all the water for showing and soap and water to drink and things like that.. I've lived very modest and humble compared to most people I know, though it adds up and I've been here for getting close to 36 years now.. Dang. Not to mention all the love and support from family and friends and things like that as well. Then multiply that by like 7+ billion or however many people are on the planet, not that they all live as long as me but many of them consume much more in shorter time. There's a lot that goes into keeping us all alive and somewhat comfortable and healthy! Though I realize a lot of people are not very comfortable or healthy and leave in even poorer areas and struggle even more than I do. Pretty crazy though still when you think about just how much goes into making this all work.

I know I'm not the most sentimental person on the planet, but I do believe in trying to practice gratitude from time to time. I often seem to forget how much other people have done for me and even when I don't, I often have trouble displaying my thankfulness to them.

I could also work on this, and I do thin I'm above average when it comes to men around where I live, and I'm pretty good at showing my feelings and appreciation.. Though I could definitely still do a lot more and your words here are a good reminder.

It has come to a point where I start to feel kinda lost in a way, if I'm not consistently writing down my thoughts and sharing them with other people. Before I joined Steem, I never thought I'll be able to earn money out of doing something I love, and now here I am.

Yeah.. That's pretty amazing.. I shared for many years without ever expecting anything in return, though it sure is nice to know that now when I share I can actually earn some tangible physical things! And I haven't even made that much especially since I started the IFC I've been donating probably more than I've been making, however.. Even the couple thousand that my account is worth I think is amazing.. At one point when steem was at it's high in value my account was worth $50,000! That's amazing.. I hope some day it goes up like that again though sometimes I certainly have my doubts, but even just to make a lil bit is such a vast improvement over the old system of not making ANYTHING.
Not that I was ever doing it for money and actually was concerned in some ways that I was "selling out" by accepting money.. After a while I realized that I'm not selling out and that it's a great improvement in my opinion to old social media like Facebook which basically steal and keep all the money for themselves.

Also thanks to my cousin @sauravrungta who introduced me to Steem. Without him, I would probably never have stepped into the world of crypto.

Thanks sauravrungta! I'm glad you introduced ayushjalan to all this. I've learned a lot from him! :)

I know I don't show it often, but I just want her to know how much she means to me and how it scares me to my core imagining my life without her.

That's awesome of you and your mom seems awesome too. I feel similar about my mom even though we've had some issues in the past. She taught me so much about life and love and it's going to be hard when she's not here anymore, same with my father.

I have been humiliated in front of hundreds, physically assaulted, and treated like shit, and that's exactly the reason why I don't fear anyone stronger than me as much because I know I can get up no matter how many times I get pinned down.

Dang that sounds rough.. Though I can relate, I was bullied when younger too and for a year or two I was a bully myself to a degree.. Glad I evolved out of that quickly, some people seem to get stuck there their whole lives!
And unfortunately I've been bullied later on in life even by some who I thought were suppose to care about me, but like you have I've got to a point where I can thank them. I would prefer it never happened, but since it did it has helped me to grow and become stronger and to have deeper appreciation and respect for life.. So.. Thanks bullies! Though hopefully some day in the future people are kinder in general. I don't think we "need" bullies like some people do, I think it'd be great if people could just gt along and respect each other for the most part and not go out of their way to F with others unnecessarily.

I need to thank the part of me that forced me to carry on even though I just wanted to give up, the part of me that led me to do things that I was scared of doing, and the part of me that... always had hope for me.

Deep... I can vibe with this a lot, brought a couple tears to my eyes especially as I've been struggling even just recently with some depression and it'd be so much easier to just disappear, but.. I think I'll be grateful that I didn't.. And that I kept trying.. And that I never gave up.. And even if it's hard to live with myself sometimes, I think it's a great idea to be mindful and try to thank myself for going through so much and still being here. And hey.. As much as I'd love to fall in love again and have a family, if it doesn't work out.. At least I have myself! :) I think that's one of the most profound things we can realize while we're alive. Many never get it and essentially kill themselves because they don't gt the external love that they want.. But if we can learn to love ourselves and "fall in love" with ourselves.. Then that is pretty ultimate! No one can really take that away from us.

Awesome post and entry man! I'm constantly surprised by how good your writing is, though perhaps I shouldn't be? It's getting to the point where I should almost just expect it. Yet.. It's still nice to be pleasantly surprised over and over again by the writings of someone I've never met in person who lives like half way around the world. :) Peace.