Make Friends With Your Loneliness and Never Feel Alone Again

in #life3 years ago (edited)

Yesterday I went to the Honeybee Center to buy some honey.

I went to the coffee shop to read my book.

I went to the bottle depot to recycle some metal.

I went to the farm market to buy some healthy food.

I went for a walk.

I went to the post office and mailed a letter.

I washed my comforter and hung it on the clothesline.

I made some breakfast.

I wrote a post but didn’t post it.

All by myself, and I didn't feel lonely once!

Loneliness and being alone are two completely different things

I feel fine spending time by myself, and don’t get lonely. But sometimes I miss the people I care about, and wish they were here, and that makes me feel lonely, because love and friends and family are the most important things in life

Loneliness is longing for someone who is not there, even when you are with a group of people. It is when you hunger for a special buddy to be there with you to share your experience. It is when you miss a special companion.

Being with people doesn’t cure loneliness, what cures it is being with people you care about. In the same way, being by yourself doesn’t necessarily make you feel isolated or lonely. Being by yourself is often a choice you make to get things done faster, or to get some quiet time to think.

Dr. John Cacioppo, a loneliness researcher at Chicago University who has now passed away, said having fewer social connections can sometimes be healthier. Having a few special companions that you can form a deep bond with is better for your mental health than having a huge friend network that you can’t spend the same quality time with.

It’s Lonely At The Top of The Money Pile

Cacioppo says that millionaires and billionaires are often some of the loneliest people because they are often hesitant to make friends with new people as they fear those people only want to be their friends because they want something from them. This is sad when material possessions are put ahead of relationships. Being chronically lonely can shorten your life.

Loneliness is Necessary

Cacioppo said:

“If you think about what your species would be like without loneliness, it would not be nearly as endearing a species. Loneliness, which compels us to bond with others, gives us what we call humanity.” In the same way that we wouldn't know light without darkness, we wouldn't know companionship without loneliness. It is a needed contrast in life.

Steve Jobs knew the loneliness that working himself so hard brought. He said some wise words when he was laying in his hospital bed dying. Steve was also a billionaire. Here are two excerpts in his words:

"The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me.

What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.

That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you

strength and light to go on.

Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want

to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in

your hands.”

“Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends…
Treat yourself well. Cherish others.”
Steve Jobs.

gif by giphy.

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I enjoy my moments of solitude, it feels nice to have time to think to oneself

yes, it's important to enjoy time to yourself I think, not always be talking, but silent and appreciating the beauty around you :)

I tell people I don't get lonely and they don't understand. I 100% agree with you it's quality not quantity. I have a small quality group of friends here in NYC, many more elsewhere through the quality of people I have met doing quality things. That is the key.

Yes, so true, it is the right energy for you and the humor and inspiration that is important, not idle chatter.

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