Identifying who sucks the energy out of an empath...what does it feel like, who are they?

My intention with the post titled What Does Empath Mean? was to do one piece of writing only. An incrediblly naive notion really because once I opened the door on the topic of empath I realised that it was far too big and complex for a one off post. I am quite convinced that there has to be three posts to do this topic justice, I like to present the full picture. Just think, Dr Judith Orloff has written a whole book. The Empath's Survival Guideis a highly recommended read for an empath in crisis.

My theme today isto talk about who drains the energy/feelings out of empaths. Identifying these energy drainers is the first step into finding ways to protect oneself Even after reading Dr Orloff's very helpful chapter, PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM NARCISSISTS AND OTHER ENERGY VAMPIRES I am sure that empaths continue to take on negative feelings/energy of others, it happens so quickly.

I like the term energy vampires it is a Dr Orloff one and it is easier to use her terminology and it seems to be a most apt description of people who suck others dry.

A good start is to say upfront that an empath is someone who is highly sensitive with an open loving caring and compassion heart. Sensitives and empaths fall into the one category and can easily be measured on the one continuum, with some sensitivity at one end and highly sensitive/empath at the other end. I always find that all individuals do not fit the same black and white definition, there are variations. Differences unique to each individual are more easily measured on a line.

The one common characteristics of sensitive people is they hand out the love naturally. This is perfectly fine when relationships are positive and invigorating. However, there are relationships where friends and partners can suck out the positive spark and vitality out of a caring empty.. Gathering knowledge on how this happens, identifying who depletes your energy and knowing how to protect oneself makes compete sense for self-preservation.

Energy vampires are very good at depleting energy, it can actually do it with non empaths. It sounds like anyone is fair game. And even with an empaths/sensitives arm themselves with the know how they can still fall get zapped. It happens easily.

What do you feel if a energy vampire is draining you?
If you feel tired, suddenly zapped of your energy and need to sleep, or suddenly feeling upset, or feeling down, or feeling anxious or judged, or you have suddenly developed a headache or you need to fill yourself with a sugary treat etc. then it is likely someone known or new to you has drained your physical and emotional energy intentionally or unintentionally. Yes there are people who do not realise that they are taking another person's energy.

As you read Dr Judith Orloff seven types of energy vampires perhaps you might say yes to one or more of them.

• The Narcissist
  A narcissists is a person who is totally self-absorbing, highly selfish, manipulative, want total attention and is totally egocentric. The world revolves around a narcissistic person. Research shows that this kind of person has an empathy deficit disorder. An empath is totally unprepared to understand that someone would be devoid of empath let alone know how to protect oneself from the barbed comments and emotional/psychological attacks from a narcissists. They wear you down, making you physically ill and depressed. Self-esteem and self -worth goes out of the door. A relationship with a narcissistic person is the most destructive of all for any person who is sensitive, caring and loving. The best thing if at all possible is to not fall in love with a narcissists or if you have a boss who is narcissistic is to stroke his/her ego. Having a narcissistic parent is incredibly damage for any child, he/she is mostly likely to suffer long term emotional/ psychological damage.

• The Rageaholic
  The rageaholic is the individual who rants, yells and rages at another in a loud and aggressively angry voice. Any sensitive person is most upset at the volume and the words. Maybe the individual might just be dumping angry pent up feelings, either way it is traumatising for anyone let alone a sensitive empath who most likely needs time to recoup and let go of the anger thrown at them.

• The Victim
  Someone with a victim mentality is very draining of the emotional energy of a sensitive/empath. It is most usual that such a person does not take responsibility or ownership of his/her own behaviours. The empath falls easily into the caretaker trap trying to solve the problems of the victim. Solutions that are not normally accepted by this person who only really wants the empath to listen etc.

• The Drama Queen or King
  A drama queen/king's behaviour depletes an empath because of the overload information and stimulation, the drama episodes never stops. A drama queen/king can keep canceling a social engagement at the last because of drama.

• Nonstop Talker
  Nonstop talkers can suck the life force out of empaths because they trap you with their verbal garbage. Not only that this kind of person has a tendency to get real close in physical proximity. Even if you move a step away the nonstop talker takes a step toward the empath. The empath is a good listener and has a tendency to tolerate the verbal garbage behaviour of a nonstop talker. Such an encounter is completely draining of an empath's energy.

• Passive-Agressive People
  Passive-Egressive people are incredibly challenging to be with. They sugar coat everything with a smile, don't meet follow through or meet commitments conveniently saying that they forgot or they ran out of time. They are not dependable, they permeate a sense of aggression beneath their amiable facade. They do things that are damaging to the sells-worth of empaths, like when they promise to ring you and don't or put you down in front of others saying when you are upset, can't you take a joke? This kind of person is upsetting to any sensitive individual.

I think that this is a good time to stop. Information takes time to process. The next post will be focusing on positive strategies that empaths can use to deal with energy vampires.

Let's finish with a peaceful ocean scene taken off Victoria on Vancouver Island.



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Cheers

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