So this just literally happened in the morning when I was taking Rocky out for a walk:
Rocky nipped the back pocket of the security guard who works at my compound. He just happened to be walking by and Rocky being the curious, playful dog that he is, decided to go near him. For some reason today, he nipped the dude's pocket. That's a first ever I've seen.
For the record, it wasn't a bite. If it was a real bite, Rocky would have ripped his pants and made him bleed.
The guard got upset.
I apologized of course.
The guard then asked for my block and unit number. I complied.
I asked him then why he needed it. He turned around and walked away, completely ignoring me.
I was pissed.
A while later, I went back to his workstation and asked why he ignored me.
He basically evaded my question, saying how he simply wanted to warn his colleagues that I had a "fierce dog."
I said that was fine, but why did you ignore me? Why is it security gets to ask me shit, but as a resident, I can't get answers from you?
Slowly but surely, things got heated. I lost it. I started shouting at him for trying to be elusive.
He once even said that it wasn't the real issue, but that I should have handled Rocky better.
I persisted angrily.
Long story short, we brought it to the administration office. I explained my perspective to the younger dude there, who fully understood everything.
He apologized on the guard's behalf and said he hope I accepted it.
I said of course I would. I said my sorrys for being a hothead and that without a doubt, Rocky sparked the whole incident, but I persisted on the fact that no guard should be treating their resident like that.
I went off. The matter was solved.
In hindsight, what really got to me the most was that this particular security guard thought he could get away with it simply by being who he was.
Since I've moved in to this estate, he was by far the most unfriendly guard. The other guards were cool, always smiling, greeting, waving and exchanging friendly banter.
I am not here to change his character, but I just wasn't cool with the idea that a typical aloof, grouchy old fart think that he could get away with it just because that's his personality.
It also further grinds my gears that others would typically willingly let him off the hook just like that, with reasons pertaining to how he's old or simply because he is of that character type.
Where is the real justice then?
By that logic, shouldn't I be allowed to get away with shit just because I am a hothead?
It then occurred to me then that I do the same too.
It's really easy to give in to the enticing feelings of empowerment and strength anger provide.
It's easy to think that you're allowed to feel that way just because you're angry.
It's easy to think that you can get away with shit just because you're angry.
It's easy to think that rage helps you to grow, but really, it doesn't.
In my own personal journey in dealing with my anger issues, I mistakenly thought rage was a way to dominate and win over others.
It may feel so, but it honestly doesn't amount to anything.
It only makes you look stupid and shameful. An elderly couple at the pool nearby certainly had a show to watch just now.
Anger however, is natural. It's good even as you use it as a force of inspiration to make a change.
But rage isn't cool. Period.
Moving away from the extreme end of the spectrum, being aloof, grouchy, old, broody and just plain negative isn't really that cool either, especially when you use it as an excuse to not want to change and grow as a person.
Ultimately, it's hard as fuck.
But calm down.
And let it fucking go.
At least, let some of it go first before you try to deal with a problem.
Here's Rocky knocked out on my bed.
I am sorry you had to see that today boy. Please know that I'll never blame you when it comes to the intricacies of the fucked-upness us humans bring along with our emotions.