We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve, Contributed by @Olawalium
Choice is powerful. As easy as we feel it is, it has the potential to change a lot of things for us, and determine the course of our lives.
Often times we make choices based on different reasons. We make choices based on different seasons too. The season we are in our lives oftentimes determine the state of our heart and how we make those choices. Some of our choices are made easy with the kind of mindset that we have. If you are the type with a particular mindset, you know there are some options you wouldn’t even consider. More like they have been narrowed down for you.
Never underestimate the power of choice. Everything flows from it. Having a positive mindset, loving yourself enough with every sense of satisfaction in who you are, makes decisions easier too. Afterall, we only accept the love we think we deserve.
We usually accept the love we think we deserve. For people suffering from low self-esteem, they would definitely think their partner is doing them a favour by dating them, so they accept just about anything and anyone.
Love yourself deep enough and don’t give a discount.
Only when you set your bar so high, in loving yourself, that is when whoever wants to date you can see the standard and try to attain to that standard, by loving you more or just exactly as you wanted. Might as well give them the confidence to love themselves too.
Low self-esteem is different from being humble. Often times we confuse them and battle with low self-esteem, thinking we are being humble. Being humble means you are not thinking of yourself more than you ought to, and low self-esteem means you are thinking of yourself, less than you ought to. There is always a standard, and the standard is to love yourself, only then can you give love to another person. When you know how you want to be loved, then naturally you can understand how to love another person.
Selfishness is also different from self-love. Self-love means you love yourself enough to appreciate loving another person too. It means because you love yourself so much, you understand how you need to love another person, without focusing attention on yourself alone. To love is to give. To be selfish is to want everything to yourself without the ability of giving.
If you answer to every name calling you will lose your focus, more like, if you accept just anything, it is a perfect view of how you see yourself. We only accept the love we think we deserve.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.
This topic is different from the one we have been battling with, choice is powerful you are absolutely right on this brother, choice shouldn't be compromised, if choice is compromised then we won't be able to choose well the right partner which can lead to miserable life afterward. Marrying the wrong person is like living in hell on earth, lol, but that is the truth, am I wrong?
Choice and decisions work hand in hand, choice is to spy on what your heart actually desire, while decision is to rule over our choice since it is the final step or process in getting the right partner. We shouldn't let anything or anybody influence our choice negativity that's why decision making is absolutely important while making a choice most especially in relationships as the topic of today
That's the true, we accept and love that will believe is actually the best for us in terms of financial obligations and standards of living, like people used to say, a man should not marry a lady that has more money and resources than he does, some of the this always rule over our decisions, for choice it could be anybody whether rich or poor.
Low self esteem has been the problems of majority in their choice of selecting partner, question like, does he or she worth me, can I even move closer to him or her talking of getting married or being in love with him or her? Sometimes we asked this question, am I right not sure?.
While humbleness is when you have enough of resources at your disposal but you never use it as criterion or let it rule over your choice in selecting the right partner you believe your heart actually desire. For ladies, they don't actually have much problems since any man whether rich or poor could be with them it is just for them to deserve but reversed is the case of man, since we always go into selecting partner we believe we can handle in terms of financial obligations and resources.
You are right, to love it actually involved a lot of sacrifice, being selfish will not help in relationships because you will surely be full of your own need by not considering your partner.
It is good to love oneself but love your partner the same, show him or her the best he or she deserves.
Choices are actually a very important aspect of decision making....
The choice we make today goes a long way in determining what happens in the future....
Absolutely sister, we should let our choice rule over our decisions making, through that then will won't have any problems no matter how small it might be or look like
Love this.
Thank you for your detailed analysis as always
Thank you @olawalium for this awesome wisdom....
I will try to be brief, but I won't be satisfied if I don't touch every paragraphs of your content as well, because each of them is an embodiment of higher wisdom.
I will start with choice making, often time people make choices and they never know they are making one, because they are expecting choices to be something you have to sit down and make, but we never stop making choices every seconds of our life.
Our life today is an accumulation of many choices we made yesterday whether consciously or unconsciously.
So, in making your choice or choices, ensure you are present, don't allow anybody to make crucial choices for you, remember that your life is directly involved in the outcome of your choices.
Due to the slight difference between been humble and suffering from low self esteem, people tend to see the two as been the same or been equal. But thank you for stating the slight difference that exist between the two. Been humble does not mean you have to accept everything thrown at you, their are time you say no, that does not mean you are not humble again.
But saying yes to most things you ought to say no to is nothing but a clear definition of low self-esteem. Learn to balance between the two.
Selfishness and self love are two important things as well, you have to practice it well for one not to be mistaken for another. I won't go deeper into this because you have said it all.
Now in conclusion:
You have a choice to make either to be humble or to have low self esteem, you have a choice to make either to be self loved or to be selfish, but whatever choice you make the determine the result you get.
You can't be in possession of low self esteem and be having the rewards of been humble, and you can't be selfish and posses the reward of been self loved.
Thank you @olawalium and @communitycoin
Bravo!. Thank you brother.
Choice is powerful, that's is definitely true, choice can only make us to see things we like from many angles but decision making is absolutely majority, for choice with good decision is nothing to write home about while deciding our partner.
We usually accept the love we believe we deserve base on our mentality when it comes to financial need and materials things all these influence our choice in one way or the other.
Low self esteem, is when you see yourself inferior to other and it actually overwhelmed your choice and decisions making. While humbleness is when you have enough of resources and you never let it ride over your decision making body.
Selfishness is when you think more of yourself at the expense of other people in term of relationship. While self interest is self love wanting good things for oneself which is normal without inflicting suffering on other people.
love with all your heart and not just reason, though love will always base on choice.
Everything is borne out of choice. Having different angles or alternatives makes us have different views but still we need to make the choice. It is our choice to finally settle for whatever we settled with. For the selfish, it is a choice, for the one battling with low self esteem, even though situation could trigger them being that way, it is still their choice. You decide how long you want to spend on a particular problem; choice.
I agree, love with all your heart, but love yourself first. When we set the bar so high on how we choose to be loved, then we have categorized the kind of people we want in our circle. Quality is better than quantity.
Thanks for your time @femcy
Uhm, reading your piece too brother, I actually learn one or two things off of. Decision over choice wasn't a bad ideas, it is just that the two should always work hand in hand for desirable future, low self-esteem is killing one gradually, we should always an attitude to boast our morale and meet up with daily living, I believe those that are vulnerable always have low self esteem since they underestimate what they can do to life, nobody can stop us from achieving our aim once we are determined, thanks for you time
Your choices in life are far more powerful than your circumstances. You may not like how complicated your life has become. But with few exceptions, no one is forcing you to keep your life complicated. Everyone have the power to simplify his life. In fact, God expects us to assume responsibility for our lives and to carefully choose how we spend our time.
Loving oneself makes someone to redefined his true self worth and make you to love others
Once you love yourself fearlessly, loving others in the same manner will become second nature.
No one can make us feel happy and loved unless we create the space for it inside by practicing self-love
Excellent post by @olawalium
You nailed this too, brother. Love this. Yes, no one can make you feel happy and loved unless you create the space for it on your inside and self love makes that possible. Our background should never keep our back on the ground, which is why i agreed to this that you said "no one is forcing you to keep your life complicated". We always have the power to decide. Thanks a lot bro.
The choices we make relationship wise can either set the pace for a beautiful relationship or destroy what we have left of our self esteem.
Many a time, we give in to certain things not because it's truly deserving of us but because of our low self esteem.
We make hasty and wrong decisions when we don't love ourselves enough.
We accept anything or anyone that comes our way simply because we want to feel loved.
Thanks much for this piece...
Learnt a lot from this
You have spoken so well there and i really thank you for breaking it down too.
Our decisions and the power of our choices, will make or mar how far we go in life. Little decision can end up having a major effect in our lives, more reason we need to love ourselves better, so we can make decisions objectively and with our future in mind.
Thanks a lot dear.
Hmmm some love aspect of this topic , I totally agree with all the points you made my sister
Wow this is amazing @olawalium
This is one of the reasons why some women enjoy being beaten by men. They don't know their worth and they feel its the right of the man to do that. The ability to love ones self first, makes you understand perfectly what you're getting from others.
Hmmm, only the real men don’t beat women. Beating a woman up I can say is a natural crime
Jail-able offense. Hahahaha
Yeah of course, only weak men beats a woman of you’d agree with me
Absolutely. Self love is key. Only when you love yourself can you perfectly love others. Loving yourself first, sets the bar higher for how you want to be loved. We accept the love we think we deserve.
I got motivated to write through your piece, keep the going.
I’m everyday amazed with your writing abilities @olawalium. This is amazing my friend.
You see the power of choice I can say is the most common power executed by human in our daily endeavors. I imagine myself without the power to choose , what is right or wrong for me. The power of choice can not be overestimated. This is so life lesson bro . Kudos to @communitycoin for putting such an amazing writer in the limelight
Thank you so much for your kind words brother. It delights me and makes me really happy. God has been really amazing with the ideas. I owe it all to Him.
The power of choice is the best gift we have been given. We chart our own course. We determine how we play out. Even when decisions are forced upon us, we still decide whether we go through with it or not.
Thanks a lot brother.
You’re welcome brother, yeah you’re gifted I must say and this is just the beginning of your greatness.
I receive it. Thanks a lot bro. You are going places!.
Everything is determined by the choices we make , and by the love we feel .
A lesson taught and learnt in this meaningful post , happiness is borne from how we perceive ourselves because it instills in us the ability to percieve others , and true love is more blissful then selfishness for it only injures us in the end.
Hmm...
Very true and deep
Exactly. Charity begins at home, meaning we should love ourselves first. Thanks
Yes dear :-) I love this 👇
Charity begins at home .
I love this. You nailed it right there i must say.
then
Absolutely self explanatory. Thanks for this and for your kind words.
My pleasure :-)
Choice making is inevitable. Not making a choice is actually of form of choice. Sounds strange right? Our decisions or choices are usually powered by the amount of knowledge we possess as well as the influence of the external environment. The decisions we make today will determine the future. Therefore, we ought to start making the right life choices - the right business, the right partner, the attitude and many more if we truly want to experience a successful life.
People don't really know the difference between self-love and selfishness, Loving yourself is when you create positive thoughts about yourself and those positive thoughts are also good for other people.
While Being selfish is when you create negative thoughts, they are good for yourself and bad for other people
No one can make us feel happy and loved unless we create the space for it inside by practicing self-love.