Toxic Femininity and Why I love Alpha Males

All I have heard lately is commercial after commercial, and celebrity after celebrity, coming out against this idea of "toxic masculinity".

(This being the most famous example as of late....prepare to upchuck if you aren't into bullshit identity politics.)

Better yet, watch this video, it will make you feel better:

"Toxic masculinity is one of the ways in which Patriarchy is harmful to men. It refers to the socially-constructed attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, and so forth."

Before I go into the topic at hand here, I want to dissect this definition just a skosh.

First of all, what is a patriarchy?

Well, its old-school definition looked like this:

"a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line."

Now, it looks more like this:

"a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it."

And this is a VERY generous definition if you take into account how rabidly many feminists describe it.

Let's look at the first definition though.

Really, this makes a lot of sense. This is the way things have been run for millennia in the human species. The matriarch and the patriarch both had their contributions in society, and the first definition was the patriarch's. Somehow, this morphed into men holding all power over women who are so meek and frail that they never stepped foot into the process of decision making, like ever, in the history of our society. (I am speaking about the USA more specifically here.) Even though we know this to not be true and that even if women were not physically present for decision-making. This line of thinking is insulting to women throughout history who have been of great importance in their specific fields of thought.

There doesn't seem to be anything terribly toxic yet, to me, about lineage traveling through the male line, and the male being the head of the household. (I can get more into why I think that's the way things should be in a little bit.)

So since we have explored the definition of Patriarchy a bit, let's move right along to the next part of "toxic masculinity."

"It refers to the socially-constructed attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive and so forth."

First and foremost...wut?

This isn't just "socially constructed" bullshit..this is just kind of the way that men are wired. Society doesn't make them this way....science does. As much as we long to separate ourselves from our lovely hairy ancestors...we can't. There is still so much of the genome that we can't possibly comprehend and human nature is a mystery that lies among those genes that make us do the things we do, and act the way we act to a large degree.

Men are more violent than women. Study after study proves this...incarceration rates prove this...sheer body size, testosterone levels...they all add up to men being more violent and aggressive than women. This makes a lot of biological sense considering how long males have been the protectors while females have been the nurturers.

The bit about being unemotional is questionable. Plenty of men are emotional...in their own way. While women may seek friends to sob to about their recent breakup, men may prefer to seek solitude at the gym and sweat it out...or blow the brains out of some zombies on their PS3. We are inherently different genders and therefore cannot possibly be expected to have the same reactions to similar feelings of emotion.

(Granted this is just anecdotal, but I appreciate men that can kind of "keep it together". That doesn't mean I expect a man to be stone cold, but crying at every sunset and cute puppy they see, is a way major turnoff. I tend to prefer Alpha males and that couldn't be further from Alpha Male behavior.)

And while I am on the topic of Alpha Males, I will just touch on the little bit about sexual aggression. I don't condone rape or unwanted contact in any way, shape or form, but if a man has my permission to touch me whenever he'd like, I would prefer him to take the lead, and be aggressive. It's not a turn-on for me to have to take the sexual lead, and believe me, I am not alone. Granted I don't hold the sole voice for women everywhere, but by golly, I highly doubt a trashy book series and now movie series would have done quite so well with the Suburban mom niche, if women everywhere weren't getting their jollies off by imagining a man completely dominating them. It's found nearly everywhere in nature and should not be considered particularly appalling or well, bad.

Hollywood also keeps pumping out men that look like this:

(Woo, it's getting kind of hot in here.)

And this:

And my personal favorite:

If you'll excuse me for a moment....I have to go....fold some laundry...in my bedroom....by myself...

Ahem.

Anyway, I'm sure it's because women want them to be super sappy though, and it has nothing to do with their manly features and glistening pecs, and the undeniable fantasy women have of men just sweeping them off their feet and taking control.

So what does all of this have to do with Toxic Femininity?

Well, I believe that while Toxic Masculinity is kind of a bullshit, machination of the tragically ill left, I think that Toxic Femininity is a real force that is seeking to hurt males. But more importantly, Toxic Femininity also hurts females, which kind of defeats the whole purpose to begin with, amirite?

Here's the deal. Even if Toxic Masculinity was a real thing, it is evident that even in the harshest of its definitions, that men are not necessarily even aware in what they are engaging in. It is not a deliberate attempt to hurt women, but at worst a potential ignorance on not being quite 2019 enough and so forth and so on.

This is opposite of what I believe Toxic Femininity is. TF is dutifully seeking out every possible loophole and flaw to be found in the male gender to exploit it and make men pay for it. New Age Feminism (or Toxic Femininity) is fabulous at achieving zero self reflection and complete and utter deflection as everything terrible that happens to women is by proxy the fault of men. This is because NA Feminists believe that women have zero power in this patriarchy of ours, and that nothing is fair and it is all the fault of men. (Bonus points if you are a straight white man. Then just fuck you man.)

I can't even begin to explain how utterly toxic and devastating this is to women as a whole.

Perhaps women have had to work their way up in society to achieve the same levels as their male counterparts, but then again everything has had its trade-offs.

For instance, men have always had voting rights. Even black males could vote before white women could. But on the flipside, men were the only ones expected to show up in active duty military situations. It was the men who died to protect their families, the men who have typically delved into dangerous jobs and occupations to support their families, and men who continue to do so, even though women have achieved the same status in society.

Women are not statistically the ones risking their lives in their jobs: they are not typically firemen, linemen, coal workers or Marines. These are all jobs which are insanely dangerous and risky, but that women don't really want to traverse into. Yet, women stand out in large numbers, shouting about pay gaps, even though THEY KNOW that is also bullshit and correlates directly to what kinds of jobs women prefer to have.

Kindergarten teachers are not going to be paid the same as electrical linemen. It just ain't ever gonna happen...and it shouldn't. One is blatantly more dangerous and deserving of higher pay. (As difficult as herding little hellions can be :) )

This is just one of many examples of just how fucked the outlook of many NA Feminists are though. They will skew and twist and lie until it resembles an ugly, unrecognizable version of the actual truth, so long as it supports their cause and complaints about how hard it is to be a woman.

The bottom line is: men aren't out to get us. Men need women as much as women need men. And while I'm no "get in the kitchen and make me a sammich, 1950s wife-beater supporter", I do think we have complicated the living hell out of our gender roles by muddying the waters on what that all even means. And in this way, life has become SO MUCH HARDER for women in general.

Sure, women can work now, or have kids, or both, or stay single or stay at home. It's all up to us now. Two women can have a baby without a man, one woman can have a baby with the federal government at its baby daddy, the sky is the fucking limit...but from every woman I speak to (again anecdotal, but do a GD Google search if you don't believe me) women ARE MISERABLE. Toxic Feminism thinks that it is achieving more for women, but it is just saddling more responsibility onto their backs. Working, motherhood, family-life, cooking, cleaning, house keep-up, child-rearing, sex Goddess, accountant, it's too much. Women are more depressed than they have ever been and are one more antidepressants than ever before, and this is somehow progress?

I would love to be able to stay home and raise my kids without feeling inherently responsible for everything else in life as well, including bringing home the bacon.

So, for the sake of God and all that is holy, if I have to do EVERYTHING that males were once happy to do: feminists, back the shit off what men do in the bedroom. At least give us ladies that one last Alpha trait just barely hanging on by a thread.

xx - Beth