Things That Some Leaders Actually Tell Their Employees (Encouraging or Demoralizing?)

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One of the first things I experienced years ago when I began working was feedback from my superiors. This included corrections to recent work, comments on my past performance and even an appraisal for a job well done.

What I learned very quickly from this feedback is that HOW the feedback was delivered could have a huge negative impact on me as an employee, or could motivate me to achieve even more.

So here are some of the words I have heard as an employee and my honest thoughts about them.

“What you should have done...”

There are many good ways of telling someone what to avoid next time, and it's still not clear to me whether or not emphasizing what should have been done while ago or yesterday is one of them. What I am getting at here is the idea of constructive, forward looking feedback versus destructive, backward looking criticism.

Criticizing the past serves no purpose if it is not to learn how to avoid repeating a mistake in the future.

For me, a mistake is a mistake. While I would love to go back in time to correct a particular mistake, I believe that it is better to focus on doing better next time.

“BUT....” after a compliment

There is nothing more satisfying than words of appreciation coming from our superiors at work. It doesn't happen often, and when it does, it can motivate us to achieve even more. Yet how often have you heard praise followed by that ominous word: “BUT”.

There is always room for improvement; I get it. Because it narrows and qualifies praise, the word “but…” always spoils the moment of being complimented. I think praise should be praise and criticism should be kept separate.

“How many times have I told you...”

It is hard to remember how often I've been asked this question by my supervisors. Sure, I know that one responsibility of a supervisor or anyone in a leadership role is to make reminders to their employees but does this include asking how many times the same reminder has been made? Or there are other ways to tell us that we should stop making the same error without emphasizing the idea that we are being forgetful?

Moreover, it is too general. Saying ‘how many times have I told you’ is like saying, ‘you always do that,' or, ‘you never…’. It is better to say, ‘last week I asked you to….This is the third time, once two weeks ago when you were, and then again last week after the meeting with…..’ This way the criticism is about ones’ actions—what they do—rather than ones’ character—who they are. Actions are much easier to modify than character!

“It's not our loss...”

Being reminded the possibility of losing our job as result of our incompetence is a fair thing. It serves as a reminder that the reason why we were hired is to perform. But for me, hearing this phrase is like being told we are not valued as an employee.

I don't think I am not alone with this one. Or maybe I just hope I am not. But if a supervisor tells this to most of the employees, he risks losing real talents, which is a loss for the company!

Threats must be carefully considered: if they are not constructive, then they should be avoided.

“You've been in this company for... And yet...”

There's not a day goes by where I do my job perfectly, I admit that. Maybe even for someone who's been in the same company for many years, there's always a mistake. Some reasons, aside from us, being not perfect, are the changes implemented in our work and the new things we discover every day.

But long as changes occur and learning exists, there's always a mistake, whether we've been in the same job for few months or many years- it's always there. One boss once said, “If you are not making mistakes a small percent of the time then you are probably not taking enough risks.”

Of course, this idea can be an excuse for becoming incompetent, but no matter how long one is employed, mistakes are bound to happen. Our best strategy is to admit them, learn from them and then use that learning to avoid the same mistake in the future.

Have you heard the same thing and would like to share your thoughts? I would love to hear your story!