Intro

Hey! I'm @noonedanger, AKA No One Danger Marshall. My friends call me Dan, and since I'm sure we'll all be good friends you can call me that too.

^^^ This is me, verifying that I'm... me... and all that good stuff. ^^^ (I'm probably also way too excited about this.)

I'm 36 years old and live in the Pacific NW with my awesome girlfriend, two adorable cats, and derpy dog (I'll get to them in a bit). I work full time for a cybersecurity company based out of the DC area, and part time as the IT guy for a domestic violence shelter. I also volunteer for a local makerspace (shoutout to The Foundry!). In addition to all that, I'm an author, musician, and successful parody politician. I definitely stay busy!

Author

In 2013, I released The Lightcap, a cyberpunk novel set in a dystopian future version of New York City. It follows the story of Adam Redmon, a programmer who works for an evil corporation / government intent on controlling the minds of its citizens. As Adam beta tests a new device, he begins to uncover the truth: that the Lightcap is much more than a device for ending work-related stress, and his employer will stop at nothing to keep its secrets safe.

In 2014, I compiled a verse-by-verse recreation of the Jefferson Bible using a modern translation of the New Testament (another shoutout: the Open English Bible group is doing great work, and without it this book would likely not have been possible!). This was a very interesting project for me, as I grew up immersed in various branches of Protestantism but am now an agnostic atheist. I strongly suspect that Jefferson--widely believed to have been a deist and known as a vocal critic of mainstream religions of his era--would be appalled by modern evangelical Christianity, especially the forms practiced by those who preach intolerance and hate the loudest. The finished project, The New Jefferson Bible: The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth in Modern English, is the only work of its kind so far as I know, as all other copies use the King James Version of the Bible as their source. It really paints a unique picture of Jesus that stands in stark contrast to that offered by most sects claiming to follow his teachings.

Since then I've taken a bit of a break from publishing long form work, though I do have a few projects I hope to release soon, focusing instead on building my micropublisher, Prose City Books, and running several parody / satire online accounts.

Musician

I've been a singer for most of my life, both solo and in groups. I was in a barbershop quartet for a couple years in high school (you've never seen anything like barbershop groupies... mainly because there aren't any). I fronted a rock band for a bit, back when I was young, cool, and didn't care about my ability to hear when I got old. I also play guitar and piano (passably and barely, respectively). You can check out my Soundcloud for some original music, and my youtube videos of some cover songs. I'm planning a concept album, tentatively titled Soundtrack for the Apocalypse, which I hope to release by next year, just in time for the actual Apocalypse.

Parody Politician

In 2015, I changed my legal name to NoOne Danger Marshall, in preparation for my write-in candidacy for President of the United States of America. I say that I'm a successful failed politician because I obviously never intended to win. Instead, I aimed to be the first politician who was completely up front about being a lying scoundrel with no intention of keeping campaign promises. Example campaign promise: "No one will represent your interests in Washington!" Since more people technically voted for no one than either Clinton OR Trump, I'd say I'm the clear winner, but in truth I didn't want the responsibility and scrutiny that comes with the position, so I conceded with grace and class. (Actually, it was a drunk 3am conference call with Hillary and Donald, but who's really keeping track?) You can read more about my campaign at NoOne2016.com and see some of my campaign videos on the No One 2016 youtube channel. Thank you for your support, America!

Giles, My Great Wiener

How many of you read the heading above and expected to see a dick pic? My actual wiener is average, but my dog is a Great Dane / Dachshund mix... or as I like to call him, a Great Wiener dog! Since everyone always asks: his mom was the Dane, and I'm pretty sure his dad used a couch. Giles will be 7 this year, and I've had him since he was about 8 weeks old. He's a well-traveled dog, having logged over ten thousand miles between moving with me from Ohio to the West coast and various other roadtrips taken over the years.

He also has two kitty buddies, Aang and Simon. Here's a picture of them looking fierce:

FREE STUFF!

Wow, you made it this far? Well done. As a thank you to this awesome community, I'm providing free ebook copies of my books! Links are below. I only ask that you please upvote and comment on this post if you download them.

The Lightcap

.mobi (Kindle) | .epub (most others)

The New Jefferson Bible

.mobi (Kindle) | .epub (most others)

Outro

There's so much more I could write, but this is long enough already. In addition to everything listed above, I am a big fan of bitcoin/cryptocurrencies, an advocate for free speech and expression, an avid War Robot'er, a voice actor and sound fx guy on an awesome scifi drama podcast, a photographer, and all sorts of other random stuff. My girlfriend is an amazing artist, so I'll be posting some of her work (or encouraging her to create her own Steemit account!) to show it off.

I'm also all over the web like a thirsty dude on a hot chick at the club... Hit me up:

[ Website | Amazon | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Flickr | LinkedIn ]

I really look forward to getting more involved with the Steemit community. Leave a comment below so we can get to know each other a little better!