Pastor Claims Kamala Harris Used 'Witchcraft' in Presidential Debate

in #humorlast month (edited)

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Christian Nationalist pastor Lance Wallnau was so upset about his “Orange God” doing so poorly against Vice President Kamala Harris in their recent debate that he accused her of “Witchcraft,” claiming, “What you’re seeing now is a real Jezebel, when you’ve got somebody operating in manipulation, intimidation and domination - especially when it’s in a female role trying to emasculate a man who is standing up for truth - you’re dealing with the Jezebel spirit.” He then added ““She can look presidential - that’s the seduction of what I would say is witchcraft.”

Now, I’m certainly no Christian Nationalist, but in Pastor Wallnau’s defense, the election does take place just five days after Halloween, so there’s that. In Kamala Harris’ defense, the debate rules didn’t really say anything about not using witchcraft. That said, I watched the entire debate, and I don’t remember noticing Kamala Harris stabbing a Trump voodoo doll with a pin behind the podium or uttering words like, “And it was my sister your Trump Tower fell on - ahahahaha!”

Besides, Trump’s claiming he won the debate by a mile, so is the good Pastor implying Trump lost? My, my! That sounds a lot like heresy! Of course, it couldn’t be that Donald Trump was just too friggin’ lazy and scatter-brained to bother doing any real serious preparation for this debate against a former seasoned prosecutor, and when she completely mopped the floor with him in the debate - the only excuse Trump cultists could come up with came directly from the 17th century - “she must be a witch.”

Now come on - witchcraft? We're getting into serious Monty Python territory here. I don’t think even JD Vance could have come up with that excuse. I mean, it wasn’t like the Harris Campaign insisted the debate be held in Salem, Mass. Let’s get real here: if Kamala were really a “witch,” she’d have turned Trump into a newt just as soon as he opened that big fat trap of his. By the way, this also begs the question - if Kamala is a “witch,” then what the hell do we call Melania?

Anyway - yes, of course, it had to be witchcraft. Naturally, we Libtards tried to hide it, but you MAGAs are just too darn smart for us. After all, Trump’s loss certainly couldn’t have been because Trump lacks the character, moral decency, or basic intelligence to be president. Ask yourself, if Trump can be so easily manipulated by “witchcraft,” should he even be president? I prefer presidents who don't get “hexed.” Not to mention, if MAGAs are right and God is supporting Trump, could this mean Kamala Harris’ witchcraft is much more powerful than God?

Frankly, its weird how these zealots hate “Drag Queens” when the reality is Christian Nationalism is nothing more than “White Supremacy in Drag.” Why, these Christian Nationalists are some of the main reasons why we can't have nice things in this country anymore. They’ll swear they’re devout Christians, yet they follow a man who is the embodiment of the “Seven Deadly Sins.” This, my friends, is precisely why our founders insisted on “Separation of Church and State.”

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