Building up intimacy.

in #humandesign5 years ago (edited)

I'm a private person. I may look like a share a lot. After all, I am on all social media, I talked about private matters on my podcast many times. When invited on the Unconventionalist podcast as well, I talked about the death of my dad, about my biggest fear.

You would think I'm an open book and share shamelessly.
I'm not.
That's the tip of the iceberg.

I crave building deep friendships and relationships but it requires building intimacy and THAT requires showing up authentically and vulnerably.
That requires the risk of being seen weak, losing respect, losing independence, losing the suit you walk in in public.

I've been sharing more recently, I'm learning to show up as myself, to share my shadows.
Because I'm not perfect and what makes me uncomfortable and looking away is what will make you see me, what will bring you hope, what will let you allow yourself to be you.

It's how we build intimacy.
I am not used to have holding space for me to let my emotions flow. I tend to hold them up.
I have had the most beautiful experience the other day.
A new friend did that. Just letting me be. Letting me process my emotions, the guilt I was fighting too strongly about something after all so small. We were just there in silence, across the screen on a Skype call, after he guided me to breathe and let it out.
It's such a new experience after so many years hearing I'm too much and feeling too much.
There's so much relief and joy in being allowed to be yourself.

Can you offer this to someone around you? Someone you love, someone you know, a stranger at the bus stop?

And if someone offers to hold that space so you can safely feel all the feelings, do say YES. It may feel super uncomfortable, even like your guts are pulled out at first but I have no words how amazing it will be as an experience.

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