make portraits matter, January 8th

Due to an often-shared premise that they take place during one’s sleep, for a time without a clear end, I did not believe I dreamt. Curiously, it never felt unfair, simply a different population for a different individual. Perhaps even now, my restlessness that insists I remain awake is an internal red flag; a fear that since I do not dream, I must not rest.

While I sleep, a ‘nothingness’ or void best describes the setting. Though I never feel out of control, the emptiness can unsettle me. To fantasize felt so unlike dreaming, especially as it does not need nightfall or slumber, my innocence heavily discounted daydreams. Visions settle within the mind with such clarity, I could convince myself these thoughts are real. This could very well be the onset of a condition, or the molting of a conception; one that insists I have limits and claims my ideals lack merit. I believe my dreams are just off in the distance, though I must not chase them. As with much of any journey, down the street for a haircut or across the country to a lover, I must go one step at a time to keep my way. Photography is just my practice. Capturing dreams, I make my reality more. There is no chance I stop.