CONTEST Looking Back/Look Forward 4.06 | Venezuela
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Not all Fairytales have a happy ending...
I've noticed that most of the stories people share in this platform talks about happyness and perfection and that's alright with me. The problem is that I haven't heard of anyone with lifes so perfect at all.
This time I'm going to tell everyone something that just happened to me, and how things went all wrong in the end and I still don't know what really happened.
Looking back: back on 1983 I was 12 and studied with the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I remember as if it was yesterday the first time I looked straight at her eyes and somehow I felt I had a connection with her soul. Of course, I was a kid then, so I had no idea what was happening. She had green eyes, and back then I got lost in those two jewels glancing at me.
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It really was love at first sight, but I didn't do nothing because I didn't realize what was happening. By the end of the year I decided I had to make my move when we returned back from vacation, but for my surprise I never saw her again because her parents changed her to another school, and that was an end for it, and for me.
Recently, almost 40 years later, we got reunited again on one of those WhatsApp groups of our old prom, and when someone started to talk about our old school loves I told her it was her, and she was surprised but also very fond of it.
We got brought altogether after so much time, both divorced, and she still had that magic on me that made me feel crazy. And the best part is that she seemed to be interested in me too.
So we started talking, a few days passed by exchanging thoughts and emotions, and by then I just felt I was on paradise. My first love and I were altogether after all these years and there were vast evidence that something was growing up between us.
Who could think that something wrong could happen in this authentic real life fairy tale story?
Looking forward:
She already knew I was interested on her, but one night I decided to ask her to tell me about her feelings towards me. Well, I'd rather i didn't ask her anything. All of the sudden she told me I was out of my line, that all she wanted was peace and tranquility and asked me not to approach her in a romantic way anymore, that we were just friends. In other words, she gave me the kiss of death.
I didn't realized what happened, I asked her to forgive me for being so... is rushing the right word? That I could take a couple of steps back because I didn't want to lose her again, but all that was useless. Somehow i felt if I kept pushing, she wouldn't allow me to talk to her anymore... So I accepted her demands.
And now here I am, heartbroken, wishing God sends a lightning bolt in order to vaporize me, and all by myself again.
I was living in a fairy tale, l was living a fantasy I created almost 40 years ago and now I'm paying the price.
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And I know all the tears i've cried won't bring her back, and I realized that her, the first love of my life, is not there anymore. God has a twisted sense of humor, in less than two weeks ascended me to Heaven and In the last minute, took my wings apart and crashed me into the ground.
I don't know what to do to stop thinking about her anymore. This is like to be dead from the inside.
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In a way I feel like her. If you had a bad (or more than one bad) relationship this is the last thing you want again.
You found a way to live alone but also a part of freedom you never had.
Believe me sex and love do not compensate the lack of freedom or all the responsibilities and things you ought to do or are forced into as soon as you have a relationship. Most relationships do not last forever. Most people do not live happily ever after.
Some attention can be good but once one party feels the other is too pushy I don't think a bit more distance helps. It's already too late because that feeling of being pushed, hunted for and dragged into something already showed it's face and can not be ignored. At least that it how it works with me. At a certain point I start feeling uncomfortable and to be honest I wish men could invest more in being friends first. Being divorced, being single, not even being unhappy doesn't mean you like to share your life with someone and having fun doesn't mean you want to take care of that person or like to have sex because you already have been there.
If it comes to fairy tales, those real fairy tales of which most come from Europe/Germany... Those official ones never end well. They were messages to adults and Walt Disney mainly gave it a happy end.
I wish you strength.
OMG what have i done
I have no idea what you did dear I just told you how I feel in such a situation (I am ctually kind of in it and it happened to me several times before).
Perhaps it's an eyeopener or the time will come you can talk about it?
All the best for you