Selfnote-26.05.22
One day I saw him again, as I have seen him so many times, while eating in a restaurant. Father, mother and daughter of about 5 years old in line to order. The dad, a tall man, concentrating on looking at the menu signs. The little girl raises her head and her voice to reach her father's eyes and ears located five feet away physically and a planet away emotionally. With the enthusiasm of sharing with someone she trusts, she tells him something that had caused her to laugh, without getting a response. Then she changes the anecdote for a demand: "let's eat upstairs", she insists three or four times. She raises her voice more but the dad remains absorbed in looking at the menu signs on the wall... then the little girl turns to the mother trying to connect through the same demand she possibly feels she will be heard, but the mother's response is the same indifference. She intensifies her attempts through physical contact by pulling her mom's arm, increasing the volume of her voice, but she only gets the mother to turn to look at her -from above- to reprimand her... and she is left alone on planet child.... And yes, dear moms and dads, children, especially little ones, need a lot of interaction with you, triangulate their experiences with you, convey their needs to you because they are hardly autonomous to provide for themselves. They don't do it on a whim or because they are spoiled. It is not that they are too demanding. It's that we adults are under tolerant and limitedly emotionally available.
Another thing: I'm sure that mom or dad wouldn't treat another adult in such a way even if it annoyed them that I was talking to them at the time. Just as a matter of good manners, they would take the time and trouble to respond. People in general, including children, should be treated as people, not furniture.
💓Autor: Berna Iskandar💓