For a couple of months, I have been attempting to do vlogs on Dtube, in order to share my thoughts and ideas about homesteading and life. For every video I have done, there were dozens and dozens of takes before I was able to collect my thoughts enough to make a video coherent. Its a very hard process to make them and Its been very hard to get to a final product. I had been trying for a couple of days to make a video on several things but my own anxiety has prevented me from making anything, so I have decided to write about it instead. Writing about it helps me and I hope what I share can help others to. Id like to tell you what Anxiety Disorder is, and how it can effect people.

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What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling that can happen to anyone, and everyone does feel anxiety at some point in their life. The feeling of doom or uncertainty before taking a test, or when you are having to make a very important decision, or starting a new challenge. Most people, in their day to day lives, can manage those kinds of feelings and it is never an issue. There are people, however, where those feelings are chronic and will not go away. It can effect everything in that persons life including school or work, relationships, and daily living. Anxiety can exist in many forms, but there will be 3 disorders that I will be sharing about my experience with today. Those 3 are:

Generalized Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Social Anxiety

Generalized Anxiety is commonly mistaken as a type of basic, or minor form of anxiety. However, Generalized Anxiety disorder is actually a constant, and persistent, feeling of doom and uncertainty. It is a constant, excessive feeling, and will last for months at a time. Its like being wound up like a wet towel so tight that you just become twists on top of twists. There is no real triggers for this type, due to its constant nature. It effects every aspect of the person's life.

Panic disorder, is a form of anxiety that will come in sudden and unexpected bursts, and usually repeat due to triggers. They can usually be managed as they come, and most people who have this disorder will work very hard to avoid those triggers. When the person is triggered, the anxiety quickly can become uncontrollable for that person and they may start hyperventilating and their heart may start palpitating.

Social Anxiety is a fear of any social or performance situation. It makes it very hard to talk to people in groups, even though as 1 on 1 or with a few trusted people they seem OK. It usually manifests as an overwhelming sense of being judged, humiliated, or embarrassed. Communication can be difficult in expressing those feelings, due to a vicious circle of thought when confronted with social situations.

How it effects me:

I have been diagnosed with Generalized and Social Anxiety. Sometimes, I can manage through self medicating and meditation, but sometimes it boils over into uncontrollable panic attacks. Its something that I have to live with. It wont go away, and there is no cure. It has effected every job, relationship, and person I have been close with my entire life. It can make days very hard to cope with. Trying to get in front of the camera it seems also gets to me alot of the times, but a keyboard seems easier to explain myself. Mostly because I can retype my words easier than starting over on camera.

I dont think of it as something that I should be depressed about. Its just the way I am wired and I have a wonderful wife who is my partner and confidant when I go through these things. My anxiety helped me seek Buddhism, which continue to shape my life today through meditation and focus. Since I have started homesteading, alot of times my anxiety is very low, and life is good. At least more often than it was living in a major city. I can still find peace and happiness in life, just sometimes I need to be reassured that the world doesn't hate.

I hope what you read today can help you or a loved one on what anxiety is. It effects many people and I think a stigma has been set on it that it doesn't deserve. Please resteem, follow and upvote if you found this helpful. Thanks for stopping by and Steem on Steemians!