RE: Bananafish Feature: Expurgation Edition
Oh damn. I didn't mean to create this mess sorry. I went to sleep and so I can answer only now. I gave you my sincerity, knowing that probably I was going to receive a nuclear shockwave back. I did it the same because I consider you a friend and, to my friends, I reserve my genuine thoughts. Mine is the pov of a reader that truly wants to understand. I did it as a constructive critic: theoretically, those that make us grow. Once, @dirge in one of his writing asked explicitly: be merciless with me in your comments. That was because he knew that only real opinions can create real feedbacks and make us progress. So yes, I'm running the risk of saying what I think with a clear mind and heart and no hidden thoughts. This is how I like the bananafish. Having said this, I'm so sorry again I wasn't aware of a delicate moment for you (also if I always update myself with your side comments in italics). If I had known I would have avoided..
I guess that’s the shame of the Internet, no one can really know until the obscenity comes about. Nie, I was just pushed over the precipice and I couldn’t hide it anymore.
Mine was a constructive and honest critic. I will repeat it if necessary or maybe there will be praise. I recall so many times where I complimented with you, don't you? So now you know that those compliments were real and not just written to please you. Talking about a story in a critical way, from my side has never meant to be and should never be seen as a personal attack. We're all here to improve. My point is that I want to thank you. This episode between us inspired me for the future about being even more straightforward and critic, instead of superseding with a general kind (but meaningless) comment. At the same time, be reassured that everything I write is written with respect and care for my beloved friends, everyone with their styles and unicity.
Sorry for going postal, I wasn’t lying that I basically went over the edge. I was already flustered with the passions which I couldn’t stir, and I have to still deal with a lot of bs that culminated of which I still have to resolve. This absolutely nothing to do with you nor do I blame you as I stated in the end blurb. So drop the officialness and speak as the Diety as thou art, O Bananafish.
I could care less if thou were professional, I rather care for a sincerity that knows how to be tact while still being critical. After all, people unfortunately live an emotional life and rationality is interdependent with emotions. So please, it angers me more that people retract their statements as I have said a many a times to you. But I cannot take offense to your heartfelt comment here. I just cannot.
(And I haven’t forgotten those comments of praise nor why you made those comments, let me be clear on that. As I must repitituously state, I didn’t take your comment as a personal attack; but it had triggered me nonetheless. And due to such a horrid collection of conscious-unconscious memories and the fact I had to hear one a few days ago to then seeing that comment tipped me over. And the unfortunate lesson that has to be repeated on the Internet is that we can never be too safe, only prepared to clean up post hoc. If I must repeat myself an umpteenth time: I am blaming no one, not even myself. The only thing I apologize is that my cathartic event spilled over to some FTS entries and the Bananafish Discord.)
When the light is running low and the shadows start to grow, and the places that you know seem like fantasy. There's a light inside your soul, that's still shining in the cold, with the truth - the promise in our hearts... Don't forget, I'm with you in the dark.