The Ideals of Gender Equality
My Experience the other day. Kinda long though, but just try and read.
I arrived PHCN office to pay our electricity bill, towards noon, after an exhausting morning. I had few persons ahead of me so I had to patiently wait till my turn.
When it was finally almost my turn to get attended to, a beautiful lady(probably in her early twenties) walked into the building and approached me. She was really damn sexy, many guys would crave a conversation with her, but I was just too tired to yearn for such.
"Pls, can you let me go in before you", she muttered.
"I'm sorry I'm in a hurry, stand behind me", I replied.
Just to justify the declination, I asked her if she wasn't feeling fine or if she had an emergency to attend to, which she answered "No, I just want to do quick and go, so i can meet up my favourite TV show".
I was sincerely abashed. "I'm sorry I can't help you", I calmly reiterated.
"I'm a woman na, just pity me please, or don't you have sisters?", she insisted.
I was honestly tempted to ignore her, however, I just couldn't help but react.
"Madam, favours should be granted to all humans irrespective of gender; You have to 'merit' a favour, before you get it; I won't grant you a favour simply because you're a woman, so go to my back and form a queue", I enunciated.
One of my biggest pet-peeves is when I see a woman who is meant to be an advocate of an unprejudiced society, try to take advantage of patriarchy to get favours and attract pity from the male folks. By professing that you should be pitied because you're a woman, you start the problem you're trying to combat in the first place- which is placing one gender above the other.
Women should be regarded and respected just like every other human. If a woman steals, she should be treated like a thief; If she acts responsibly, she should be treated responsibly. Womanhood shouldn't be an object of pity; we all have our struggles.
So, next time you want any aid or succor, don't try to play the victim card, by involving your gender in your plea. It may work on some people, but not me. I allot favours when you truly deserve them, irrespective of your gender.
The insistence that women be esteemed or pitied simply because they're women, is a problem in the quest for gender parity. This idea COULD make them complacent with a lack of zeal, and expectant of what a much more hardworking man deserves.
In the end, I guess she perceived me as a bad person afterall 🤷.
Very controversial. I agree with you. Whilst I don't think you should paint with broad strokes, I think there are some women that do this - but remember, there are some men that do this too :)
Yea true. The aim on the long run is to smash patriarchy from all angles.
Wow, bro, thanks for sharing this in full honesty. Frankly, I resonated with you too, and trust me, not all women are like that. My girlfriend (@deborism) and I thought about this all the time, where some women who fight for gender equality, and yet, use their gender advantages to get things done (espeically when they couldn't do it the normal way).
For me, I don't believe in women empowerment, because truly, that just meant that women are weak to begin with, which is wrong. You can empower the uneducated, or the underpriviledged, or the marginalised, but why would you want to empower someone just because of their gender?
Funny how some women would fight for gender equality, but expect the man to pay for her meals.
Thank you @maverickfoo for your insightful comment. Indeed gender roles should be demystified, our only difference is in our biological makeup.
This may be one controversial post - but I have to say I (@amariespeaks) agree with you here. I'm all for equality but EQUALITY means just that, equal for all. There's no doubt in my mind that men have had the 'advantage' in the past but how can we punish men alive today for the plight of women in the past? I, myself, agree it is distasteful when women play the victim card or attempt to get the upper hand just because they're a 'lady'. If you want to stand up and smash the patriarchy, be seen as strong women than you have to be willing to put equal effort/time into it and never play a victim.
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Wow. Thank you for this. I agree topics relating to gender are really sensitive, and perceived as controversial. But indeed, Patriarchy should be smashed.
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Whether she considered you a bad person,thats her headache. What matters is that you did the right thing and you stood by your principles. You definitely cannot please everyone.
Yea, i really didn't care how she perceived me. In the end, I was glad i passed a strong message.
This is quite a thoughtful and well put post, I loved it, I must confess, in the past I've treated people differently in a more favorable manner just because they are of the female gender.
such kind of behaviour can become patronizing in this day and age where women can do almost anything like men.
Thank you bro. Our societal norms relating to gender are really flawed. We need to correct them.
Thanks for sharing! I think you were right to decline her, in the way that you did. But I also don't think you can blame her for trying to use the cards she was dealt as she has learned will work. That's the tricky thing. When you're born into a system that's flawed, you have to learn to work with those flaws, even if they hinder the overall goal of change. But it's a good topic for thought and conversation, for sure.
Yea exactly my point. Social constructs relating to gender are really flawed, and needs to be corrected. Thanks for your remark.