Stop Throwing Ground Over Me!

in funny •  2 months ago


Wow... what a friggin day. It's so very hot and humid, the perfect combination for swamp ass, which by the way is no fun. my wife and I had an appointment today, I was not looking forward for the trek through the heat. Since a taxi costs and arm and a leg, and all my dear friends were otherwise engaged, we had to take the DAYUM bus.

It cost us twelve dollars to go and return, which when you're speaking of a short distance, well it sucks. I just wanted to go for a ride on the bus, I didn't want to buy it, besides, where am I going to park it? Anyway, like I said, we took the bus.

Now my wife has several health issues, one of which is a disease similar to parkinson's. She gets tremors and shakes. So she walks with a cane for extra stability, that and the fact she has had two hip replacement surgeries. Oh, just for the record, shes only 59.

Since she does shake and walk with a cane, when we first boarded the bus, there were no empty seats in the area designated for that, they were filled by mostly young teenage girls and boys too wrapped up in themselves, and with no common courtesy to get off their lazy asses and offer her a seat. I swear for the first time ever that I saw, this bus driver let out a roar. He said "This dayum bus ain't moving till one of you lets that lady have a seat!" Well I'd say that was the fastest any of these kids moved since the last time they had diarrhea. So anyway, my wife got seated, and since so many of these kids scattered, there was a seat right beside my wife, I sat down beside her, instead of what Iusually end up doing, standing in front of her as the bus rolls along.

It wasn't a long ride, about 15 city blocks, then we had a block to walk. The water was running off of me by the time we got to our destination. I had to use the washroom, and when I tried to go, all I did was whistle and pass steam I had sweated so much.

Our destination was another apartment building. We have been looking for another place to live, since the building we are at, we live on the fourth floor, and this building has no elevators. The stairs are becoming too difficult for my wife, and I fear she may fall.

We sat in the lobby, patiently waiting for the lady we were there to see, and all these old people were wandering around. There wasn't one without a cane or a walker. I think the average age of them all was ..dead! Now I know my wife isn't going to be running a marathon any day soon, nor myself, and she isn't the most steady, but when I was looking at all these old people... well, I felt old too. It scared the crap out of me. I know that someday I will pass on, but I have to tell you, I'm not ready yet, and i refuse to go! I'm 61, that is not old.These people that live in this building, well they sleep with one eye open. They are in constant fear in that if they lay down, they are worried someone will start to shovel dirt over them.


Matthias Zomer

So we finally met with the lady we were there to see, she had us fill an application, after which she told us there were no vacancies at the moment, which I actually heaved a sigh of relief. We thanked her for her time and left. Once we were outside my wife turned to me and said, nope, don't want to live there!

 


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