Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 43

in #funny5 years ago

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 43rd part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, and 42. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



Rooster

Five roosters laid some eggs. How many eggs were laid by the roosters? Nothing! There is no such thing as a rooster laying an egg!


The slip

Meanwhile on a Philippines Airlines flight plane nearing Manila.

PILOT:(Gets on the intercom) This is your Pilot, Big Ed Rivas. I would like to thank you all for flying with PAL flight 327 and hope to see you all again soon.

He then hangs up the microphone, but has forgotten to switch it off, so all the passengers can still hear anything said.

CO-PILOT: What are you going to do, Big Ed, when we land in Manila?
PILOT: Well, you know that very hot airline stewardess, Amy? When we where in Las Vegas in the U.S. we got married. So when we land as it will be our first night together, we will be getting a taxi to take us down to that little Bar in Niteclub Street and have a couple of beers. Then after that, we will be going to a hotel and make beautiful love all night!

Of course, all the passengers could hear this. So Amy was in a panic to tell her husband Big Ed to turn the microphone off. Amy rushed down the aisle between the passengers. Half way there, she tripped and fell. As she struggled to get to her feet, an old lady reached over laying a gentle hand on Amy's shoulder and very comfortingly said to her:

OLD LADY: You don't have to rush, dear. He (Big Ed) is going to have a couple of beers first.


The gift

Giphy

HUSBAND: Honey, what do you want for your birthday?
WIFE: Something that has a diamond!
HUSBAND: I got it! Here's a new deck of cards!


New year joke

GIRLFRIEND: Happy New Year, babe! What are your resolutions?
BOYFRIEND: A new house! I'm going to work hard so I could buy a new one!
GIRLFRIEND: Wow! What else?
BOYFRIEND: A new hairstyle so I could get a new look!
GIRLFRIEND: Really??? I'm so excited! What else?
BOYFRIEND: A new girlfriend! For a guy to be cool!


On my mind

Giphy

DOCTOR: What are you thinking?
MENTAL PATIENT: My family...They're on my mind!
DOCTOR: So, where are they?
MENTAL PATIENT: Hello!?! They are on my mind, okay???



Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


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