Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 42 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 15)

in #funny5 years ago

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 42nd part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, and 41. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



Are you him?

City cousin visiting ignorant country cousin in the rural province.

CITY COUSIN: James Bond is a great action hero! He's now showing in the movie theater in the city!
COUNTRY COUSIN: Really??? I'll go see him now!

The ignorant country cousin goes to the movie theater and went inside.

COUNTRY COUSIN:(Seating next to a man) Wow, it's pretty dark and full of people here! I don't know where he is! Mister, are you James Bond?


The boast

Giphy

3 friends were talking about how rich their relatives were.

JAMES: My uncle is very rich. His roof costs 5 million Pesos!
JOHN: Piece of cake! My father's mansion has a roof that costs 15 million Pesos!
PETER: That's nothing! My grandpa has a long, sturdy roof that costs 200 million Pesos!
JAMES & JOHN: What??? Where does he live?!?
PETER: Under the bridge!


Too tired to...

WIFE:(Lying down besides her husband) Honey, are you tired?
HUSBAND: Well, a little.
WIFE: Hmmmnn...Honey, I just showered and I'm not wearing any panties...
HUSBAND: Is that so? Okay, go to sleep and I'll buy you some new panties tomorrow.


Large grapes

Giphy

JOHN: Did you know that my grandpa grows the biggest grapes in the province?
JIM: That's nothing! My uncle's grapes grow as big as clocks! You, Mario! Did you ever grow such big fruit like ours?
MARIO: Yeah, we have grapes...the size of eggs...
JIM: Huh? That's too small!
MARIO: We have grapes so big that the size of their seeds are the size of eggs!


The escape from mental hospital

Meanwhile at a mental institution at night.

MALE PATIENT: Okay, open that door quickly so we can escape!
FEMALE PATIENT: But it I saw it being locked!
MALE PATIENT: Then we have to destroy it!
FEMALE PATIENT: Right!
MALE PATIENT: Look! It isn't locked!
FEMALE PATIENT: Oh, we have to lock it then!
MALE PATIENT: Right!



Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


Follow me as @darthnava: "Dreams are my dreams."

Sort:  

pocketsend:11@darthnava, play around with the token of fun - POCKET!

Successful Send of 11
Sending Account: pode
Receiving Account: darthnava
New sending account balance: 93666
New receiving account balance: 80
Fee: 1
Steem trxid: 2021ae1c0470112cc76fb14f80f9c8503ac8ef4c
Thanks for using POCKET! I am running this confirmer code.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.28
TRX 0.12
JST 0.034
BTC 63152.69
ETH 3233.54
USDT 1.00
SBD 4.45